Under no circumstances will my child ever feel this way again

I posted something yesterday. As soon as it was out for the whole Blogworld to see, I deleted it.

It was a letter I wrote to Dinks daycare about something that happened to her.

I questioned whether I should post such an item. I questioned why post such an item. It's not like posting the letter would make what happened go away. I did the rational thing and put in writing on paper what occured and brought it to the attention of those that matter (owner and directors). Writing also helped me to release my anger without going completely ballistic. Multiple apologies were given to me and, I suspect, Dinks. The incident was over, so why dredge it up?

Because it happened to my child. Besides, I post everything else. Why not this?

And on a personal note, thanks for "talking" to me, CP.

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February 14, 2006

Dear Owner and Director:

Let me just state for the record that I love the daycare center. What is even better than me loving daycare center is my daughter, Dinker, loves it, also. She looks forward to going to school everyday and even feels a bit disappointed on the weekends when she does not go to school.

That said, it upsets me to have to write this letter.

I am referring to the incident that occurred yesterday when I picked up Dinker.

Dinker is in the midst of potty training. We all know what fun that is for a parent and what frustration it is for the child. Dinker also has a documented problem with her bowels and that makes it even more frustrating for both parties. In my opinion, she is doing well. She has to get a rhythm down and I realize that comes in time.

Knowing she is training, I packed an extra set of clothes for her yesterday. They were in a plastic shopping bag, and hanging in her cubby space. The bag consists of a shirt, a pair of pants, a t-shirt, a pair of plain white socks, and a pair of shoes. That was her second set of clothes. Her other set of clothes are in her backpack. That set consists of a shirt, a pair of pants, a t-shirt, and a pair of plain white socks. In addition to that pair of socks, there were TWO other pair of socks in the backpack. They were a white pair of Hanes and a white pair of Baby Gap. That is FOUR pair of socks, in total, that were readily available yesterday for my child along with her two sets of clothes.

Dinker did have an accident yesterday; she wet herself. I think it was because of her little bowels. She probably had to have a bowel movement and the pressure was too much for her bladder. Again, we are working with her on that rhythm thing. I know children that are potty training are prone to accidents and I fully understand that.

When I walked in and went to her cubby to get her stuff together, one of the aides (I can never remember names but I do remember faces) gave me a plastic bag with Dinky’s clothes and told me she had an accident. As she was telling me this, I had in my hand the plastic bag of clothes that was her back-up set. I asked if she used these clothes and she said no, they used the ones in her bag (meaning her backpack). I did not think anything of it, got the rest of Dinky’s stuff together, and went into the main playroom to get her.

The “other” Miss L (not her teacher as Dinky will tell me but the second Miss L) was there and told me, also, of Dinker’s accident, and told me that Dinker was very upset about it. I thanked her for the information and she left. That is when the first aide, who brought me Dinker’s soiled clothes, told me her socks were wet, but that she put Dinky’s boots back on her. I got a chair, told Dinker to sit, pulled her boots off, and sure enough, her socks were saturated with urine. A bit upset, but not wanting to show it to my child since she was upset enough after peeing herself, I changed her socks, put her shoes on her, threw the urine soaked socks in the bag of soiled clothes, and we left.

There were four pairs of socks available to my child at any given time and your school was going to let my child leave with urine soaked socks in snow boots in freezing cold temperatures? Did someone think putting boots over urine soaked socks was acceptable? That is beyond unacceptable.

To say I am livid is a grand understatement. To say her father is livid is an even larger understatement. I am starting to think some people only do what is minimally necessary and nothing more. That is sad considering the tuition we parents pay each month for the benefit, safety, and well-being of our children. It is negative incidents, such as this, that can outweigh a thousand positives.

Regards,

maidink

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It was bad enough that my child felt humiliated that she wet herself, but to have her wear the soaked socks? I don't know about you, but I would think of it as a kind of punishment. At least, that's what a three year old might think.

I'm not out to get even with her daycare center by posting this letter. As you can see, all proper names have been removed.

So why post it?

I guess in some small way, posting it helps me feel vindicated.