A little levity for the day

I can't help it. I love this picture.

An Addendum

To everyone who commented on my burn-out dilemma post, I want to thank you for all of your kind words of encouragement and empathy.

Yes, I am suffering from blogburn. No, I am not going to quit blogging. THAT will not happen. I've grown too fond of typing my thoughts (though my typing is sub-par) and I would miss all of my friends too much.

But I'm still in a burn-out situation. I've been doing a lot more reading (on book # 6 - HP and THBP) and I have been playing video games (have to put that DS to use somehow). Couple that with Christmas shopping - both on and off line aka the Mall - and I am slowly building up fodder for future posts.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have important business to tend to right now. I have to read "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" and "The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog" to my sleepy daughter. For the encore, we'll read "Knuffle Bunny" and then, if a second encore arises, "Kitten's First Full Moon".

Heeee!!!!

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!

Yeah, better late than never.

I am the kinda of person who never buys just a birthday card - it's a "Happy Belated Birthday" card. Guaranteed, even if I buy it a week ahead, the recipient will get it late.

I'm still recovering from my turkey and carb induced coma from yesterday. There was one, count'em, O-N-E vegetable yeterday and that was string beans. Good gravy, no wonder I passed out after dinner yesterday.

Like I said, I know this is late but I am thankful for everything I have in my world.

I am very thankful for God for giving me life. I am ever so thankful for my family for being there for me no matter what. I am thankful for my Geo - my love, my husband, my friend. Lord knows I thank Him ever second of the day for my little Dinker. I am thankful for my job and my co-workers. And I am thankful for ALL of my friends - that encompasses the ones I can recognize in a crowd and my blog friends. Though I have never met any of you, I consider you all my good friends.

I raise my glass of wine to all of you and, though it be late, thank you for being you.

Running out of steam

I have not been in the mood to blog lately. Since I mainly blog at work, anything work related must come first. And wouldn't you know these people think that's WHY I actually make my commute in the morning? No, not to blog ... to work! Sick-os.

Blogging at home is really not an option either.

And my life has been relatively benign lately; hence, I can't think of a blessed thing to blog about.

Even the local/world news and business world is boring. It's the same crap - "Troops should leave Iraq", "Cindy Sheehan at it again in Texas", "The weather is cold", "Christmas is almost here", "Deaths and muggings over the XBox 360", etc. Actually, that last one is bizarre.

It reminds me of when grandmothers were beating up each other over the Cabbage Patch Kids. Granted, I don't think granny was packing heat 'casue I never heard of anyone getting shot over the adoptable dolls.

*sigh*

I don't particulary like whining on the blog. Granted, I have done my fair share. But whining about the same stuff over and over is such a headache to me.

I whine - I adapt - I overcome.

I think I just need a blog break. And the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend is just about the perfect time to do so.

Four and a half out of five stars for "Goblet of Fire"

Over seventy-two hours and US$101 million dollars later, HP and GOF were the top grossing movie this weeknd at the box office int he United States. Oooo, color me "shocked".

And Time Warner who brought us this film is lovin' every minute of it.

Yes, I did see it. Yes, Geo went with me voluntarily. Yes, the movie was absolutely, without a doubt, great. It kept my interest from opening scene to closing credits. You won't even realize the movie lasts for over two hours.

Now, for those of us that have read GOF, PLEASE go in the theatre with an open mind. Don't try and predict what will happen in the next scene because you'll just tick yourself off. If you forget the book and watch the movie, you'll enjoy the movie so much more. Okay? Promise you'll do that?

Okay, good.

I mean, just imagine if they did do the book verbatim. You'd have to come back the next day for the second showing.

For those who have not read the book, so what? Don't try and cram over 2,000 pages of pre-teen novel in your skull before trotting off to the United Artist. Geo has never looked at a page in any of the books and he loved it. Honest ...

The movie was visually stimulating a la computer graphics but not so much that it looked fake. I really believed there was a horn-tailed dragon about to smash poor Harry into kibble. The scenes at the Quidditch World Cup and Harry's first task made you feel like those guys were truly flying (but of course we all know they weren't). Even though what was on the screen could never happen in reality (?), the effects crew gave the film a feeling of believablity that almost makes you want to buy a Firebolt as your new way to commute.

The acting was what you would expect from a bunch of teenagers mixing in with the adults - emotional roller coaster time. Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter is our reluctant hero battling dragons and stomach pains brought on by wanting to ask his crush, Cho Chang played by Katie Leung, to the Yule Ball. Ron Weasley, played by Rupert Grint, and Hermione Granger, played by Emma Watson, are Harry's best friends. They also have a thing for each other (Ron and Hermione) and it really come sto light in this the fourth movie. But they go about it like a couple of little kids in the school yard hitting each other with their bookbags and shouting "Natty natty boo boo". At times it kinda reminded me of the O.C. or some other version of 90210, but that's the angst of growing up. The supporting cast of Maggie Smith (Professor Minerva McGonagall), Robbie Coltrane (Rubeus Hagrid), Alan Rickman (Serveus Snape), Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore) and, for the filming of GOF, Brendan Gleeson (Alastor "MadEye" Moody) once again proved it is possible to work with a gaggle of teenagers and still keep your sanity.

A bit of warning though for those with little ones under ten who are readers of the series. This movie is by far very dark and there are a few disturbing moments. It truly earned the rating PG-13. If you feel your little one can handle it, by all means take them. Just a warning that there are some creepy scenes that are only matched by the Dementors in "Prisoner of Azkaban".


If you like fantasy films, or even if you don't, I highly recommend taking the time to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (reading of all 734 pages not required).

Let's try that again

Well, West Lawn PA is out.

The seller got an offer and accepted it.

Could be just as well. Streats told me today the area we were looking at is known to be the Meth Capital of Pennsylvania. Call me old-fashion but I'm not exactly thrilled about moving my family to a place known as a Meth Capital.

We are still focusing on the 'burbs. Montco and Bucks are our first choices. We still like Berks and Lebanon Counties but that commute? Ain't happenin'!

So, anyone know of any nice family-like areas we should checkout?

Pulling up the stakes and movin' on

We've decided (we being Geo and I) that it is time for us to move. We're putting our home on the market December1st.

I have lived in my home for over 8 years. I purchased it with my late husband. Quite frankly, I never considered it a real home for my family. I've been wanting to move for almost 4 years but little things like pregnancy, fires, and getting personal problems situated just friggin got in the way.

Now, we are married and we want to start over somewhere else.

And we have found a place. We just have to wait for all the wonderful pre-app garbage to go through and then we can place a bid.

Ahhhh, yes. And fun is only just beginning.

Midnight madness for Harry Potter fans

What has been considered by many Harry Potter fans as the best book thus far in the series will hit the big screen starting midnight tonight!

Normally, I am never excited about a movie premiering at the box office. I'm a DVD kinda gal. But this movie, I must admit, is becoming one of those "you have to see it on the big screen" types.

My own opinion on why this movie will turn into the "must see" Harry Potter movie has a lot to do with how it was made.

The director of movie number four, Mike Newell, is British. The other two directors were an American (Chris Columbus - Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets) and a Mexican (Alfonso Cuarón - Prisoner of Azkaban). Nothing against any of the three previous movies - they were very good indeed. But this movie will definitely have that certain dark "British humor" flare about it. I feel Newell will finally bring to light on the screen what JK Rowling is able to bring to life with her writing.

Also, Harry Potter being a worldwide phenomenon helps at bit.

He is what every person to a degree wishes they were. He went from Boy Average in the muggle world to famous wizard in the magical world. He is the Mega Millions lottery winning ticket holder. He went from nothing to everything ... for a price.

That's what draws people to Harry. He is "the boy who lived". He's a powerful person who's still in training and finds himself in confrontations that astound the omnipotent and omniscient. He faces his fears, wrestles with his emotions, and defies authority to do what is right regardless of the rules or consequences. He is a reluctant hero.

And he is about to face his greatest challenge yet. And for those of us who have read the books, we know the future holds even more danger and more difficult decisions. Goblet of Fire is only the beginning.

Dark and difficult times do indeed lie ahead for you, Harry.

"Dark and Difficult Times Lie Ahead, Harry"

... less than two days

Taking a break

I have a lot to do right now so I won't be blogging for a few days. I might do a benign post here and there ... nothing major.

And yes, there will be pictures. Just the ones that were taken with Geo's camera were not the most flattering. I've seen FBI profiles in the post that had more photogenic flare.

And none of your beeswax about the wedding night! This is a PG-13 rated site!

I never get tired of hearing "Congrats"!

A big thank you goes out to my PA blog buddy, Cranky Prof! She posted a Congrats to Geo and I on her blog.

I would have thanked you earlier except bloglines doesn't exactly update as quick as I would like it. Hell, some blogs I read don't show updates until three or four days later when the posts have become a slight bit old.

And the reference to the title of this post is an answer to Rowan's comment on one of the posts (I forget which one now) about how I must be tired of hearing "congrats". Honey, you never get tired of hearing it!

Just when I think they don't give a damn

I have been with my company for over four years. They have seen me through a troubled marriage, a dead husband, a burnt house, and a pregnancy. And all that happened in the first year I was hired!

So what do these goofballs who I occasionally blog about do for me? They gave me a mini-shower Friday afternoon. I almost cried. I was seriously expecting an Acme cake and a card.

That was not going to happen as per our CEO.

For starters, look at the cake! That beautiful masterpiece came from Clay's Creative Corner Bakery of Berwyn PA. I almost fell over when I saw it. Clay's is the BEST bakery bar none on the Main Line in SE Pennsylvania. I mean they make CUPCAKES that are spectacular! The icing is a yummy buttercream that doesn't leave that sugary frosting taste in your mouth. And the cake is the perfect balance ... not too moist and not dry at all. For anyone that needs a cake for a special occasion (or any occasion) and can get to Berwyn PA, I overly recommend Clay's.

Besides that spectacular cake, I (okay, Geo and I) got gifts! I received a five piece chip-and-dip set from the CEO and his family. Another gift was a fluffy white chenille throw from my co-worker who is an even bigger Harry Potter fan than I. Round all that off with three 4x6 cascading photo frames and two gift certificates and you could have knocked me over with a feather I was in such shock.

It definitely made for one surprisingly delightful afternoon!

No longer single

First and foremost, I want to give a blanket "Thank you" to my extended blog family for all the "congrats" I received this weekend. I especially want to thank my sweet Shyguy, Tony, for not only his e-card (and a Hallmark to boot becasue he cared enough to send the very best) but also for the lovely words on his blog in honor of my wedding. Big hugs and kisses to you!

Yes, Geo and I are officially henpecked and nag husband and wife. It was a lovely less than ten minute ceremony. Mr Charles Cooper kept the ceremony "short and sweet" as per my and Geo's wishes.. A few words, some vows, exchange the rings, and VOILA!

The groom was decked out in khakis, a Polo shirt, and a tweed-like sport coat (which he promptly ditched after the "I do"s). I wore my medieval inn-keeper's wife dress (at least that's what I refer to is as). It's a plain maroon floor length long sleeve dress. Nothing fancy. I wanted to look decent yet feel comfortable. The dress fit the bill.

My mom was the perfect hostess. I was pleasantly shocked that she held to my wishes and kept everything low-key.

It was a very relaxed atmosphere. There were all of 16 guests ... perfect. We had some snackies before the shin-ding and deli-meat lunch tray from Al's Corner Deli at Torresdale Avenue and Rhawn Street in the NE. The poor meat-tray didn't have a chance. It was g-o-n-e within thirty minutes. I was lucky to get a taste of the potato and macaroni salad before that too evaporated. The cake was from some bakery that shall remain nameless. I don't believe in slander unless totally justified. Normally this bakery, who is famous for their pound cake in NE Philly, does a good job. However, on this occasion, the cake was dry and quite forgetful. I smiled and choked a piece down for my mom's sake. She was so excited when she ordered it and I didn't want to disappoint her. Least we forget the champagne toast by the best man (who was decked out in his best black jeans). It was my kind of affair and I loved it.


I promise to post pictures soon. They are on Geo's laptop so I need to transfer them to mine.

So ... more to come!

That's it for now ...

Okay, I have a few things I need to do before I get hitched so ... bye-bye!

Two sheet cakes for 20 people

Oh that is going to so blow the Atkins thing right out of the water.

My family makes no sense

Yeah, so the brother who lives in NC is trying to find a flight tonight to be at my wedding tomorrow. My "no-frills nothing-to-it" wedding.

And my other brother, who lives in Somewhere PA, can't make it because he has to go to a football game at 9AM with his son.

WTF?

Mom called the wife on this one. The wife of the idiot in PA, that is. NOW, he "might" be able to make it after the game but my sister-in-law and niece will be there.

All I say to him is "Bro, don't do me any friggin favors, okay?"

I like my sister-in-law and my niece. They'll be better company.

The humor and hazards of working for a medical company

The company I work for is in medical manufacturing. We develop systems and devices for ophthalmic and vascular surgery and diagnostics. We even have divisions that manufacture hemasystems for human and veternarian use.

And you'd think being somewhat large in the ophthalmic field we'd have a friggin vision plan! But I digress.

I have nothing to do with any of the manufacturing. I work in the financial end - mainly receivables. I watch the money come in from our sales and investments.

I am also the sweetie who calls various hospitals and doctors for payment when we haven't seen anything for three months. Some customers actually get irrate when I call. One charmer told me "Well, we sent it to your manufacturing site. Can't you trace it?" I responded that if she sent her car payment to a manufacturing facility in East Gibip, would her car loan be on time or would a repo man come a-knockin' on her door in the middle of a left turn? Another person actually told me they pay within a strict guideline of 90 days. I told them that was marvelous except they were 125 days past due so what's their excuse now? I even had the CFO of one hospital tell me he had our check sitting on his desk and didn't feel like sending it to me. "And we're gonna file bankruptcy so how do ya like me now?" and he slammed the phone. I guess he was having a bad day. I get some real winners with lovely attitudes so I have no problem asking for what's owed.

Now if this were person-to-person collections, like asking for money from Ma and Pa Kettle, I'd last three minutes and I'd quit. I'd get to call the girl who has two kids and her hubby just died in a car wreck (or Iraq or whatever) and she can't make the mortgage and the wolves are at her door yadda yadda yadda. That's not for me.

My co-worker in crime, Streats, is payables. She's more popular than I. Everyone wants money. No one wants to pay. So her phone rings off the hook everyday while mine sits very quiet. I make some people call my line to assure it's actually working. But Streats? She's the winner of the popularity contest around here.

And Streats job is much more interesting than mine. She gets to pay on invoices from vendors. We have the normal ones like shipping companies, phone bills, etc. But there are some real bizarre ones, both on product and terms.

Case in point ...

Streats got an invoice from one of our manufacturing sites for immediate payment to a vendor of circuit boards. In the real world, we give everyone 30 days from invoice date until we pay. This turkey thought he could pre-date his invoices so he would get paid quicker. Little glitch in that theory is he never shhipped anything even thought the invoice gave a shipping and receiving date. Doofus. Her phone call to him was priceless - "Don't put on an invoice 'order was shipped' when it's still sitting on some dock in Singapore. No, I'm not paying it. Fine, put us on credit hold. We're your only customer so now what are you going to do?" That vendor is on his way out.

Then there are the invoices for payment on things I don't care to know we buy. Streats had to call our one site because an invoice came in for payment on harvested eyeballs. However, the shipment came in damaged so the site would only allow half payment. Streats needed confirmation we shipped back the damaged goods. This one was on speaker phone. Our buyer proceeded to tell her about the squished, misshaped, flattened, and lanced pig eyeballs that were in the shipment. "They just came in a big palstic bag with no protective packing so those eyeballs just sloshed and banged around inside the crate." I was still getting over being ill so really didn't need to hear this one. I politely ran out of the office with hand over mouth.

Least I talk about the employee reimbursements Streats gets to view. Now I won't talk about our own employees so I'll tell about one reimbursement Streats had to do from another comapany she was worked for. The employee was a salesperson and he was at a convention in Las Vegas. You can already see where this one is going. It was a huge one week convention and she was getting lots of expense reports for rather high dollar amounts. A lot of the employees tried to slip a few smaller things by her to get paid (like a dozen donuts or lunch on receipts dated before or after the convention) figuring she'd have so many reports she'd just rubber stamp them all. But she caught all of these nickel-and-dime pitance receipts and rejected each of them. One guy in particular seriously put on his report four bills at $300 each for "drinks" at one club ("drinks" was handwritten on each of the credit card receipts). He designated the expense "client entertainment". Well, Streats thought it kind of odd that the bills were $300 a pop and they were all timed and dated within hours of each other. So Streats contacted the "restaurant" for clarification. The restaurant turned out to be one of Las Vegas' finer gentlemen's clubs and the bills were for lapdances! And no, it wasn't paid and yes, the dope was now out $1,200.

Whoever thought accounting was dull was probably right but at least here we can find some humor in it. Accounting - it's not just a job, it's an adve ... no, it's a job.

Creative ways of saying "thanks but no thanks"

I asked my brother, W, if he wanted to attend the wedding this saturday. His response? He's taking his son, my nine year old nephew, to a football game at 9 o'clock so he can't make it. He would see if my sister-in-law and my niece wanted to show up but there were no promises.

My brother is the biggest drone alive. If he weren't my brother, I'd probably consider him a total ass and never associate with him. But family is family.

The numbskull also had the nerve to say "you know you could have given me a bit more notice than three days".

This coming from the smack who invited my family to his house for Christmas dinner on December 25th at 1:00PM. I mean, that's when he actually invited me!!

Bozo.

Calling all cousins

Knowing how swift I am, my cousin can believe this. I can't find her phone number anywhere.

I am such a bonafide knucklehead when it comes to keeping phone numbers and calling people. In this modern day and age of Palm (tm), Pocket PC's, and MS Outlook, you would think I would keep one of those things up to date? I have a Dell Pocket PC that keeps dying on me because I never turn it on and the battery just drains away.

So now I want to tell my cousin that I am getting married and I frantically ripped through my house trying to find a shred of evidence that would reveal her phone number. Nothing.

I know she reads this blog so here it goes:

Dude, if you want to go to your Aunt P's on Saturday to see the hitchin', it's at 11. Food will be served afterwards - no starving (like your Aunt would ever allow the opportunity to feed the multitudes to pass her by). This is the closest I can get to doin' invites. Let me know.

If anyone else wants to show up and your in the Philly area, let me know. You might not get fed, but that we'll discuss.

Stike a pose!

Move over, Madonna! You're finished! I'm younger and cuter and can give two friggin hoots about Kabbalah!

First glitch in the wedding already!

That didn't take long now did it.

The humbleman can only have up to four people. Okay. I told Geo this yesterday. I then said, in passing, if my parents agreed to having it at their home, we could invite more people and maybe have it later. Jokingly, JOKINGLY, I said something to the tune of "like they would even decline the chance".

Ha-ha-ha!

Geo thought I was serious.

What did my loving sweetie do? He invited his parents. Now I don't know if that meant both his Mom and his Dad and Step-Mom or just one or the other. I don't know.

And I just got off the phone with my mom telling her it was going to be in Germantown with a max capacity of four guests.

Throw the brakes, Choo-Choo-Charlie! We gotta switch the tracks!

Called Mom back. Got her to agree to have it at her home. Called Geo. Told him all was a-go!

Now Mom's going to feel pressured to have her house pristine for the event. How do I know? We are talking my mother! The woman looks like Doris Day (no lie, she really does) and plays the part! My mom IS the Betty Crocker Red Cookbook! Right down to the etiquette section about "freshly ironed linens on your table", "fresh flower centerpiece for the table", "flowers are to be subtle in fragrance so as not to overpower the aroma of your meal cooking", "ensure the men are happy with their drinks", "engage in polite conversation", etc. Good heavens, she lives for this crap!

I look more like Winona Ryder and order take-out.

The date is official

Geo and I are getting married this Saturday, November 12, 2005.

Now, the tentative part is it will be in Germantown at the officiant's home. That means the wedding party is limited to five people. I have to see if we can find an alternative [free] place that can hold a bit more people.

Thank goodness we weren't planning this for the weekend that just passed. I'm still not 100% but at least I made it to work today.

Anyhow, more details to follow.

DSL is here

In case anyone hasn't noticed, we have our DSL. The third was our start date so I hooked it up while I was home with the Dinks.

Heck, I like it. And what's better, IT'S NOT COMCAST!!!!

Aren't kids wonderful?

All three of us have the stomach flu. It has been one of the worst twenty-four hours.

First, I started as soon as I came home from work yesterday. Geo stayed home with the baby.

Next was the baby ... again!

Then, Geo was the third to fall.

The worst part was both Geo and I were still sick this morning and the baby was as right as rain. Figures.

Thank heavens Mom and Dad do not live too far away. So Geo and I are recooperating and the baby is with Nana and Pop-Pop.

Everyone have a healthy weekend and god willing, I'll be back Monday.

We found a humbleman to marry us

It is true. Geo and I found someone that is willing to marry us. He is Charles Cooper, Wedding Officiant. He is a non-denom minister which is perfect since Geo and I are supposedly of mixed religions. It took all of yesterday searching the internet to find him. I checked out his website and found through his words to be a person who will do the Right Thing.

The ceremony itself will not be religious. It will instead be a civil ceremony. Rather than explain why this humbleman prefers to do civil cermonies, I thought you would like to read it straight from him.

I feel comfortable with this humbleman. He sounds like he has the same ideas of doing the Right Thing as I do.

The date .... 11/12/2005

In no way does my user name mean this

I saw this NYT article and it's headline and had to do a double take.

Treasures Emerge From Field of the Dead at Maidanek

Umm, hello? Doesn't the name of this German WWII death camp like strikingly familiar to my user name?

Let it be said right here and now that my user name is in no way related to or a glorification of the atrocities that befell millions of innocent victims at the hands of the Nazi régime.

The 333 exit

That's the exit number on the PA Turnpike for Norristown. I know the sign quite well. Why? Oh, let me explain.

Yesterday, things were going splendid! Not only was I in a good mood but we were actually getting on the road early. Granted, the baby was in a cranky mood but I passed it off as her being a crab.

I barked out the usual morning commands to her:

"Go to the potty"

"Eat your yogurt"

"Put on your jackie"

"Grab your babies and let's go to silver car"

The babies are her two stuffed lambs, Rat and Lambie. Rat has approximately 2.75 years of drool, hugs, and kisses on his resume and he it a bit on the ratty side; hence, his nickname. Lambie looks just like Rat except he only has a year of drool. But both have to accompany her everywhere: school (where they have a "nap" in her cubby until I pick her up), trips, beddy-bye time, etc.

The one command I did not have to yelp was "Shut off the TV". For some odd reason, she didn't feel like watching it.

We bumbled into the car and we were off to the races.

Dinks just seemed so out of it. Not cranky or happy or anything. She was just ... there. I aske dif she wanted Mommy to play music and she nodded. I've been a classical music kick lately and much to my happiness, Dinks seems to like it.

Traffic was moving well yesterday morning despite SEPTA and their "lame-o excuse" strike. I even caught myself doing 80 MPH. What? Hey, I was keeping up with the flow of traffic for goodness sake. Anyway, all was going great.

We got to the Mid-County exit #334 where they (being PATCO in think) are doing construction. The plan is to widen the highway from two to three lanes in either direction between Mid-County and Valley Forge. That just means the traffic jams will be more concentrated ... six miles long instead of nine. Anyhow, because of construction, the road doesn't have a shoulder for about three to five miles. Now that's a pain when there is an accident or breakdown cause it's near impossible to get a wrecker through the bottle neck of traffic.

It's also a pain when other things happen.

We drive under the Mid-County overpass and I hear *bwwwwwggccc* from the back seat followed by crying. You guessed it. Dinks was doing some serious power heaving all over herself. And it was banana yogurt barf. Argh!!

She's crying and I'm thinking "Where am I going to pull over? There's no shoulder for a few miles!" Thankfully I was near the 333 exit. I swerve the car into the gravel triangle that divides the highway from the exit ramp.

I pulled her out of her seat and made the lamest attempt with a towel that I keep for such emergencies to wipe her down. She's still barfing but now on the ground. I mean she was covered. I had strip my child down on the friggin Turnpike, wrap a blanket around her chilled little body, and sat in the front seat while I cleaned her car seat. Oh yeah. We're buying a new one tonight. It took about fifteen minutes to do the half-baked clean up job.

I jump off the Turnpike at 333 and hopped back on heading towards home. The windows were down ... oh it was awful.

And the poor thing was back in her carseat with the blanket around her. I kept asking if she felt okay and she would give a limp nod in response.

Now here's the kicker! I call her school and get the assistant director. She asked how I was and i said "Oh just dandy!" in my still Demi Moore style voice. She then said "Let me guess ... Dinks is vomiting?" Holy chowder! Was I on some traffic report on the radio or TV and didn't know it? I could just hear that:

"And on the westbound PA Turnpike we have a car stopped for a toddler who seems to be vomiting. Traffic isn't slowing for this but the mom looks frantic."

But that wasn't the case. The assistant said I was not the first parent calling their child out today. It seems a bug was spreading through the school and over half her class was out.

You have to love daycare. If it isn't a footprint ghost or handprint spider that makes its way home, it's a virus.

Major Wedding SNAFU

The pastor can't do the wedding. He told me that in order for him to perform the service, we (Geo and I) would have to go to premarital counseling which takes anywhere from three to four MONTHS to complete. Not happening! We have an expiration date working against us and time is a tickin'!

He told me that his philosophy is that "he doesn't just conduct weddings as much as he helps create a marriage". Oh whatever.

Fine.

Since he was completely worthless, if anyone knows of a justice of the peace in the Philly area, please let me know.

Halloween Meltdown

Yes, I realize it is already November 2nd and I should have blogged about this yesterday but I didn't so there!

Just as a precursor, I was still sick on Monday. Coherent, but sick.

Dinks did not want anything to do with Elmo on Monday morning. Halloween morning. With her parade in the afternoon. And tricks or treats in the (very dark) evening. I'm standing at the foot of my bed with her standing on the mattress shaking her head back and forth in response to my "Please be Elmo" begging. This child did not want to be anything. She wanted to be "Dinky". Lovely. Leave it to my kid to develop a strong sense of self at the age 2.75 on Halloween. I told her she did not have to be Elmo, that she was going to dress up as Dinky for Halloween. She seemed satisfied.

I did stuff the red furry googly eyed rag in a Strawbridges bag and toted him to school anyway.

While my child was in school not contemplating being Elmo for the day, I was back in work and everyone was dressed in costume. I was so glad the memo was sent out Friday and someone was gracious enough to call me while I was out sick. I'm sorry ... was that a bit sarcastic? Three of my co-workers were vampiresses. One was a Jedi Knight. Had I known, I would have broken out the beer wench costume or bought a Hogwarts costume.

I left work mid-afternoon for the Halloween parade at the little one's school. To call it a Halloween Parade is being kind. It's a parade at least in title on the events calendar. Just imagine a bunch of little kids strolling out of a building all in costume to a bunch of waiting adults with videocams in hand (the adults not the kids). As soon as a parent is spotted, the child breaks rank and hauls ass to get to Mommy and/or Daddy and/or whoever. So it's really not a parade per se - more like a mob scene of costumed midgets.

Dinks was in the Elmo get up. The one aide, Lauren, told me the only way they got her in it was they promised she could parade around with a fake ax. I said "Oh how cute, Killer Elmo". That's when I was told "No, she was Fire Dept Elmo." Oh for crying out loud! Fine, but next time put a fire hat on the kid's head and wipe off the red stuff from the axe blade if you want to be politically correct.

She seemed fine being Elmo so I told her we were heading to Nana and Pop-Pop's so they can see her in costume.

Big mistake.

First, she didn't want to wear Elmo anymore. Second, she didn't want to go trick or treating. Third, she didn't want to leave my parents' home.

So after a whole twenty minutes at mom and dad's, I had to carry, literally carry, my kicking and screaming child out to the car so we could go home. After a few well maneuvered Lucha Libre wrestling moves, I got her buckled in her seat and we left. It was the longest ten minute trip home in my life. She was having a fit so bad she actually vomited (I know, pleasant isn't it). I have no idea what started it but she hated the world.

Hindsight being 20/20, we figured that the clocks rolling back plus lack of afternoon nap created the toddler fit from Hell.

At the homestead, I was trying desperately to console my now naked toddler screaming and throwing various detached light objects. She was naked because I was changing her diaper and she wanted to wear panties and not a diaper. Negative on the request since princess is not potty trained. So of course that just added to her already high-end hysteria. What's a little more fuel to this fire anyhow.

Geo came home and the child ran screaming into his arms. He soothed her by telling her it was all okay and before my eyes, my little lycanthrope reverted back to being human.

With a little bribing, Dinks agreed to put on the Elmo costume once more and she and Geo went out trick or treating. He told me there were a few incidents like her seeing someone dressed as the "Scream". Upon seeing said being, she dropped her candy bag and hauled ass. She doesn't handle scary things well. I was left to watch the homefront and dole out the candy. It wasn't so bad. Psycho was on some channel on DirecTV (I still haven't figured out the channel layout). And I was interrupted about ten times the whole night. We bought three huge bags of candy and went through half of one. So now Dinks believes the leftover spoils are hers to keep. I'll let her think that as I swipe a piece of bubble gum a day.

And that was my Halloween 2005. The bribing we did to get her to go trick or treating? We told her she could stay up late to watch "Halloween Dora" and eat chocolate. She didn't - she crashed the second she returned from candy collecting. Like I always say, thank goodness for lack of short term memory.

Honest, I'll blog more later

I am feeling much better now. The drugs did their job albeit I'm spaced out most of the time (no one has noticed this, I wonder why?).

Not being in work for two days caused somewhat of a backlog.

So without going any further, I have to get my stuff done.

Be on the lookout for these future blog subjects: marraige, moving, parents, harvesting, and Halloween.