Friday, September 30, 2005

Have a great weekend all

In a few hours, we're on the road again. That means no computer until Monday.

Everyone have a grand safe and happy weekend!

Elmo's back on for Halloween

Good lord. Let's see how long this will last.

My luck, probably until tomorrow. Then she'll want to be Karate Kid.

How I know autumn is truly here

1) The calendar - Well okay, that was the obvious first choice at least from me.
2) Millions of leaves on the ground - good if you're a little kid and love to jump in leaf piles. Bad if you have to rake the damn things. Worse for the kid who jumps into a leaf pile that has just been raked.
3) Candied or caramel apples - Drool! I love these things.
4) Pumpkins, pumpkins everywhere - we have so many farms here with pumpkins galore. I want to carve one or paint one. Ahhhh, I'll probably paint one instead. It'll last longer.
5) Stellar cold mornings - Nothing says fall like walking outside in the early morning and freezing your ever loving backside off. In my case, that could be beneficial.
6) Sweetzels Spiced Wafers and Ivin's Spiced Cookies - nothing says happiness on a cool autumn night like on eof these cookies and hot tea.
7) Halloween decorations galore - we have one particular home in our neighborhood that does a fantastic Halloween display. On Halloween night, they have the fog machines going everywhere and the entire family is dressed in the spirit of things. All the kids in the neighborhood love it (well, not mine but she's young yet).
8) Football and hockey - the only two sports worth watching
9) Oktoberfests - get a bunch of PA Dutch folk together, mix in some beer, and woo-hoohoooo! This year we're doing the Oktoberfest thing in MD at the Renn Festival.
10) Friggin school buses - the evil necessity to get the little ones safely to school

If anyone cares to add to the list via commetns, be my guest! Or just create your own list. Whichever you feel is more fun!

No kidding?

Imagaine my shock and surprise when I saw this news headline:

Army in Worst Recruiting Slump in Decades

Ummm, unpopular war does not make for good recruiting times.

Yet another Meme

Eee-yep, been tagged ... again. This time it comes from the artistic, talented, captivating, and alluring NYPaganChick.

Here are the rules:

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

#23 Post title: NE Philly and Eminent Domain

sentence five reads: now getting the media attention it desperately deserves.

It's a bit of a twist on the literary meme currently circulating in Blogland.

Now for the fun part:

Virginia Gal (just use your tenth or twentieth if you haven't reached 23. See? can't get out of it)
Cranky Prof

Tag! Y'all are now it!

More proof that I need a hearing aid

I took this compatibility test. It was on Rowan's blog. According to the test Rowan and I are 78% compatible as friends (cool). Here are the results:

I'm a generally unfrigwitted, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I editted the answer a bit (it really didn't say unfrigwitted). What struck me was the "pathetically simple-minded" part. I asked my co-worker, Streats, about that.

Me: Hey, would you call me pathetically simple-minded?

Streats: (still looking at her monitor) What did you say?

Me: Well, I took a personality test and that's part of my results.

Streats: Simple-minded? I haven't heard that in a long time.

we both chuckle

Streats: No, I wouldn't.

I turn to look at my monitor

Me: (looking back at Streats) Hey.

Streats: What?

Me: When I first asked you, I thought you said "What, to your face?"

Streats: (rolling the eyes) Will you please go get that hearing aid.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Karate and Jousting

Yep, that's the plans for this weekend.

We're loading up the fidgetmobile and heading down to Baltimore. We're not taking my car. My car eats gas. Okay, it doesn't eat gas (24 MPG highway/city), but compared to the fidgetmobile, it does. The fidgetmobile, it gets a good 34 MPG highway/city. With today's gasoline prices, this one is called a no-brainer.

Saturday will find us watching someone taking their karate test for their next level belt. No, this is not an arbitrary thing. It's not like we are going to cruise the streets scoping out the dojos to find the best one. Friends of ours have a son (we'll call him Tee) and Tee is in karate school. Don't ask me what style 'cause I don't know. I believe I mentioned before that Geo has several black belts in several different styles. Again, can't tell you which ones 'cause they all look the same to me. Well, Tee has always looked up to Geo as some sort of role model (maidink snickers at this); hence, Tee took up karate the second he was allowed to enroll When Tee found out the date of his next belt test, the first person he called to invite to watch was Geo. Awwww.

And after that's done, we are going to relax. I don't believe in running around doing eighty thousand things while away from home and neither does Geo. The baby could care less what we do. She loves Tee so she'll be his shadow this weekend. Heck, she'd probably try to join the dojo just to kick my backside at a later date.

The next day we will travel to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. This thing kicks butt! It so outdoes the PA Renn Faire. We'll be shopping and drinking and eating and drinking and watching jousts and drinking and ... oh yeah ... drinking. It's actually a lot of fun. I'm even going to dress in period style clothing. Got my barmaid wench outfit ready to go. Woo-hoooo!!

The Renn Faire in PA just doesn't do it for me anymore. Maybe it's the lack of tree shade throughout the village or lack of decent vendors or the non-lack of frellin yellow jackets everywhere. Whatever the reason, we just don't bother going there.

And a certain someone who purportedly reads this blog daily is invited to join. They have asked me before and I, like the brainless dork that I can be, forgot to tell them when we'll be going.

After the festivities at the festival, we'll head home. Gosh, I hope we can get some food shopping done before Monday. Oh well.

Could she have waited just a bit longer

I had every intention of dressing my child as Elmo this Halloween.

We have this great costume we purchased last year. It's the ultra deluxe Elmo costume that's all furry and warm. We dropped a friggin bundle on the dumb thing.

Alas, we made the mistake many parents make. We bought an expensive costume for a child who walked the neighborhood for ten minutes Halloween night. That's it. I could have taped a Christmas ball to her head and said she was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Lord knows it would have been cheaper (already got the tape and decorations). The first scary costume she saw, she screamed bloody murder, begged me to hold her, and wouldn't let me put her back down on the ground.

Just brilliant.

Remembering all this, I have told everyone the baby will be Elmo again this year. Dammit, I'm getting my monies worth out of the furry little mop.

All of my "set in stone" decisions were pretty much blown out of the water this morning. This was our conversation while getting ready to leave.

Me: So you excited bout Halloween, sweetie?

Baby: Um, I got jackie.

Me: Yes, sweetie. You have your jackie 'cause it's gonna rain today.

Baby: I got jackie (inaudible sounds) it's yeww - woh

Me: Yes, it's a pretty yellow jackie.

(maidink now cussing at herself for forgetting her jacket)

Me: So are we going to be Elmo this year for Halloween?

Baby: no

(maidink's eyes grow huge with fear as she is dumb struck by the child's answer)

Me: But honey, you like Elmo, right?

Baby: No, I got Wiggles!

(child is now jumping up and down in some sort of interpretation dance shouting "wiggie, wiggie")

Me: So no Elmo?

Baby: I go to school.

Me: Ohhhhhh-kay.

She wears a "one" ring around her neck. I think I'll dress her as Bilbo or Frodo. She's short, she can pass.

Elmo, your fuzzy red backside is E-Bay bound.

Decisions decisions

Do I:

tell Comcast to take their cable box and jam it where the sun don't shine, and then contact DirecTV ot Dishnetwork.


tell Comcast to take their cable box and jam it where the sun don't shine, and ... well, that's it.

I hate watching TV and maybe it's time my child has learned the fine art of "dealing with it".

Besides, I've said before she watches her blankety blankety blank DVD's so much, I forgot why if I even had cable tv.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Dream a little dream of ... baby prehistoric creatures?

Well, since it looks like all of my blogging friends have been having whacked out dreams, I decided to join the ranks.

I was at Mom and Dad's home. Across the street, their neighbor had a petting zoo. On their front lawn. And it had three baby woolly mammoths. One was five months old. How did I know this little tidbit? The zoo keeper (some Hollywood celeb who I did not know) told me when the mommoth rolled on it's side and started crying. It wanted to be with it's mommy and daddy.

And that's all I remember.

Why can't I have cool dreams? Dreams about being Laura Croft or having mad wild sex or living in Renaissance times.

Nope, not me. I get crying extinct mammals.

Very possibly the world's most boring memoir

Today, like yesterday, I woke up, went to work, came home, and went to bed. Somewhere in between I ate food and took care of my child.

Yep, that's about the size of it.

Man, do I need a hobby.

Oh you bastards!

You can step on my Oakleys and it won't really bother me 'cause I can buy another pair. You can kick my car and I'll probably just chase you with a tire iron. You can even cuss me out and I could care less (like I could hear you anyway).

But take away the Disney Channel from MY child, oh ... you have so done effed up!!!

Comcast, that's it!

Kiss my ass.

Screw a chicken.

Pound friggin sand.

You're history!

Time to get the Dish and DSL (if I can find it).

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It Came From the Ceiling Fan

It's 6 am. I've been awake for over an hour. I'm trying to get the baby awake (and we all know what a joy that is for me). I'm sneezing my ever-loving frellin head off. WTF? Damn allergies.

I go in my room and look up at the ceiling fan. Normally, the damn is running from April until October. Actually, all the ceiling fans in our home go full tilt from spring into summer into autumn. Today, it was silent and still and as FILTHY AS THE BOTTOM OF A DUMPSTER!!!

Sweet mother of all things holy!

Out comes the bucket and sponge and orangey smelling cleaning stuff. The fan gets a major clean ... at 6:03 am. I go and inspect the other fans.


No wonder I'm sneezing my backside off!

It is now almost 9 pm est and I finished the last fan.

God as my witness, I am not looking under my bed.

All work and no play makes this a boring ass place

Holy chowder.

I haven't worked this much at the job in months. Lunch was brought in again (this time I actually got to eat). All I did was settle this account and figure out how the heck that account got screwed up and create this GL and blah blah blah.

Accounting. Watching paint dry is more interesting.

Quick, Ethel! We're surrounded!

As I was driving to work this morning ... wait, did I say drving? Silly me. As I was sitting in traffic on the way to work this morning, I looked over at this large sloping grassy patch next to the PA Turnpike. On this little swatch of green I saw tons of Canadian geese. There had to have been thirty to forty of them. They were all walking downwards toward the road. I thought, "Oh my gosh, it's a suicide pact!" I looked again. At the bottom of the grassy slope was a hay bale. And a goose was on top of it. And there was another goose in front of it looking straight towards the goose mob.

Then I got the picture.

The geese with the hay think they just got the motherload of nests and the other geese are going to bum rush them.

If that doesn't suck.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Blogger is so ticking me off!

Not once. Not twice. Not even frellin' thrice. Blogger ate either my posts or my edits about eight times today. I had to keep hitting Save As Draft every twenty seconds or else I'd lose all my edits. And one kicking post is now in cyber-whatever.

Stupid Blogger.

DJ Tazzy and the Pigster

I know these two blokes, Taz and Pig. Simply stated, they are two of the sweetest nicest guys I have met in the Wonderful World of Blog. And these boys have a radio station - TAZ RADIO. Seriously, and it is hosted by DJ Taz! I highly recommend checking it out.

Anyway (someone's fave word), they asked me for my Top Ten song list. The parameters of choosing the songs was easy - 1. Your personal top 10 selection; 2. Your placement in your personal chart from 10 to 1; 3. Reason for each choice (optional).

Simple, right?

Well, sounding easy and being easy are two vastly different things. At least for me it is. I was going to do the "pick a song from every genre I like" but there were only ten slots and I like more than ten different types of music. Then I thought of picking ten songs that expressed a certain mood or emotion. If I went that route, you'd be listening to Eminem, The Smiths, JS Bach, Martina McBride, Bessie Smith, ... just to name a few. I instead decided on ten songs that span my lifetime. I'm not talking 60's, 70's, 80's, etc. music. I'm talking my own personal life. Each of these songs have a special meaning for me (and not just the one in the brackets). I'll write later on each song and the special meaning it holds.

So, here is the list and here is a link. Go ahead and give it a listen. All brought to you courtesy of DJ Taz.

10. Crazy on You - Heart (always loved the guitar rifts in this song)
9. Dance This Mess Around - B-52's (reminds me of college and the extreme partying I did)
8. Time Warp - The Original Rocky Horror Picture Show (nothing says a good time better than dancin' with people in drag)
7. Like The Way I Do - Melissa Etheridge (love love love this woman!!!! Did I mention I love her?)
6. Under A Violet Moon - Blackmore's Night (I'm a Renn Faire fan. What else would you expect?)
5. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne (with RANDY RHOADS!!!!!)
4. Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones (it was either this or Time Is On My Side. I must admit to cranking Shelter in the car. I like singing Time ever since I watched that creepy movie Fallen. To anyone who has watched that movie, hearing someone singing Time will also creep them out.)
3. I'd Run Away - The Jawhawks (again, a tie between this and Bad Time. I love both songs equally so I flipped a coin.)
2. So Much To Say - Dave Matthews Band (have every CD this man and his group has ever made and do you think I ever went to ONE frellin' concert?!? I'll answer that for you ... NO. *sigh*. Oh yeah, this was another tie. I also love Gravedigger. I thought So Much was just a wee bit catchier.)
annnnnnddddd .....
1. Trampled Under Foot - Led Zeppelin (it's Led Zeppelin. Need I say more?)

I work in a meat locker!

I walked in my office this morning and ... SMACK!

Holy chowder!!

It is freeeeeeezing in here!

I swear by all that may be considered mightier than thou, I should be able to blow smoke out of my mouth. My fingers are already frozen and my frellin rings are spinning like a 48x CD reader around said fingers.

I'm not an ESKIMO!!! Heat, dammit!

Friday, September 23, 2005

I seem to recognize your face ...

My cousin, who I actually called my aunt out of age difference and respect, died twenty years ago this month. I remember almost all the times I went to her house to play with my "cousin" Rose. I would include her brothers, but two were older than us so we were really more or less pests to them and the other just tortured the crap out of us. I remember her best friend, the next door neighbor. On the few rare occasions we were all together, her friend and I used to butt heads. I think that was more of a personality conflict than anything else. I remember the pool in my cousin's yard. I was terrified of it - I think it was because either my brother or one of Rose's brothers tried to drown me. I'm sure that was just an "accident". I remember the garden in the yard. I remember the house. Even with my crap memory, it still feels like I can go to that house and point out exactly where the piano was or where my cousin's picture used to hang on the wall in the living room. It seems like yesterday but it's actually been forever.

What I don't remember are my grandparents. They passed on before I was born. I never had an old person spoil me or think I was God's gift to humanity. No, I take that back. I had my Aunt Ann and my Uncle Eric. She was my mom's sister and he was my aunt's second husband. They were the closest I ever had to grandparents. My Uncle used to buy Cracker Jack at the corner store. He would get a box and he would buy one for me. I got to keep both prizes. Oh yeah, I was the bomb with my "lick your arm" tattoos and mini-joke books. He always called me Mike. Why? Who knew. But NO ONE else was permitted. My brother called me Mike in front of my Uncle just once. My bro got the lecture of a lifetime. Learned his ass a lesson. My Aunt (who I fondly referred to as my "Nan" until the day she died) could never correct me if I did something stupid. If she did, my Uncle was there to tell her to "knock it off". I was his little Mike. He even bought me a car when I was two at Christmas. Not a real car (oh how I wish I had a car from 1970), but a shiny red metal car with pedals under the hood. i couldn't even reach the damn pedals. He even had my initials put on the doors in gold leaf ... real fancy like. he spoiled my backside rotten.

But I was also a sickly child. From the age of almost two until I was eight, I would have bacterial pneumonia at least five times a year. Found out years later that I was actually allergic to my own immune system. No lie. An allergist explained that whenever I caught anything like a simple cold, my body worked against stopping it - actually bolstering the germs and shutting down my immune system.

I don't recall all the hospital stays - only a few. Back then, you're ass was in the hospital for pneumonia, especially bacterial. Blue Cross must have loved my Dad. I distinctly remember one particular hospital stay. I woke up in the morning coughing - just coughing like a cold. I had a full blown cold in the afternoon. At night, I was in the car to Frankford Hospital with a fever over 102, chills, unable to breathe, and barfing up my lungs. I was four. Mom brought me Colorforms and puzzle books during the week. One day, Mom came in looking rather sad. She told me my Uncle Eric was very sick and he was now an angel in Heaven. I was clueless. I asked if he wanted to stay with me in the hospital. Quite frankly, that's all I remember.

He died while I was in the hospital and I barely remember my Mom telling me. As I get older, I barely remember him at all. I have one photo and that's it - nothing else as a visual to jog my memory at all. Mom always tells me he has been my guardian angel and I believe it. I just want to remember.

Today, my dad comes home from the hospital. The baby has been up my ass to go see Pop-Pop. I told her that after school today we'll go see Pop-Pop. It actually scared me this time - his being in the hospital. He's old. He may be cantankerous and stubborn but he is still old with health issues. And his littlest grandchild is only two. And she is going to see him today.

And I'm taking the videocamera.

In escaping, they died

A bus carrying elderly patients trying to escape Hurricane Rita exploded on a highway near Dallas today. So far, at least 20 are confirmed dead.

Elderly were left in NOLA and died in the hurricane. These people tried to escape.

The friggin storm hasn't even hit yet and Rita has given us casulties.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

A Literary Meme

Thank you, pax, for this idea.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

Damn. The first book I picked up, Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them by Newt Scamander, only had 42 pages.

"The hearing's on my floor, in Amelia Bones's office. She's Head of ..."
from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

I am almost on book six. That's my goal before GOF hits the theatres.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

My Politics Test results

You are a

Social Moderate
(55% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(23% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

And Geo is a Republican. Oh well. Sooooooo, it's a mixed marriage. BFD.

Thank you to Belinda at Ninja Poodles for introducing me to this test. By far, my favorite test to date.

Why doesn't this crap happen to the working father?

The New York Times ran an article stating a growing trend among college women who are willing to chuck the career thing after graduating and be stay at home moms.

For starters, if their major is business, my advice is "drop now". Nothing says "waste of time" better than a business student who, after she gets her degree, says, "Oh that $100K I (or more possibly the scenerio - mom and dad) just spent on this degree? Who cares. I'm getting married and staying home with the kids." Whatever. If that's the way you do a proper situation analysis, the business world is better off without you. However, if it's liberal arts degree said woman is striving for, I say stay in school. Nothing hurts in enriching your mind. It could help if you want to home school.

The article, for the most part, was pretty lame. It's all "look at the rich college kid and her noble decision" rah rah garbage. I mean, it focused on Ivy league schools only. Most of the students who attend these schools come from affluent families; hence, they probably have a trust fund. Money to them may not be a factor in deciding whether or not to work. I seriously doubt the same trend is prevalent among schools where a student has to bust her hump working to get tutition money together. That student may hold their degree in higher regard than one whose degree, in a sense, was handed to them.

But then I look at the flip side of the arguement. Mom and dad probably worked like dogs so they could "everything". That would set a bad taste in any kid's mouth who would rather have their parents home than the office. So I could understand how the trend got its beginnings.

What cracks me up is some on the conservative right (more than likely Rick Santorum supporters) actually hailed this article as good journalism. They are shouting "Hooray" knowing that these women will be raising their children properly without having someone else in a {shudder} daycare do it for them.

Um, okay.

The conservative right always looked down on the working mother. They see her as being ambitious to point of sacrificing her child's welfare. Or uncaring when she dumps her kid at daycare regardless of how much the child wants to stay with mommy. Or worse, a single mom with a child having to work to support herself and her child. Then again, some right-wing conservatives are extremist Christians so being a single mom right off the bat is horrible. Yes, the working mom is evil in their eyes.

For the woman who went to school to prove she doesn't have to depend on a man to support her or possibly her kids, this article was toilet paper. For the woman who went to school to show she can kick some serious booty in the working world, this article was fodder. To the woman who scrimped and saved to get a degree to better her position in this world, this article was nonexistent.

Nutrition 101

How to give your child a helping of all 4 basic food groups ...

Dink chowing on what was her Daddy's cheesteak

meat - cheesesteak

dairy - cheesesteak and pizza

fruits/vegatable - cheesesteak (fried onions) and pizza

breads - cheesesteak and pizza

See? It's the perfect supper!

brought to you by the maidink household of friday night eating.

Busy, busy, busy

Typing "busy" three times made me realize that it's an odd looking word. It just doesn't convey the same feeling as typing,say, "Dammit, dammit dammit!". If I read that, I know the person who wrote it did, read, said, saw, or heard something really stupid or bad.

Even "No, no, no!" gives you the feeling of "not now".

So there we are, I am too busy today to seriously blog. Brought in my can of soup in case the company decides to buy lunch for everyone again. At least I'll be prepared.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Dad update: Part Four

My Dad has diabetes. He normally is able to keep it in check via medication. However, in the past two weeks, his sugar count has been consistanly over 200. Now he needs to take insulin shots daily. And check his blood sugar at least three times a day.

He's still coming home on Friday but now his diet has been radically cut. The man is already on a low fat, low sodium, low sugar, low carb diet!

Radically cut to what?

Last one in starves!

How typical.

Today, the company ordered lunch for everyone. The history behind that is it's year-end. What that means for most people is we are trapped here until the books close. That's fine and dandy. The lunch is a morale booster and during year-end, we need all we can get. As tradition holds, the company orders lunch for everyone. Not a bad trade off since they usually order food from good places.

The office manager came around and took orders from the local pizza place which has quick butt food. I ordered a beef cheesesteak with fried onions and hots on the side. My officemate (we'll just call her Streats from now on) ordered the same sans the hots.

Food arrived about a half hour ago. We were told in the accounting department a few times, "Yo, food's here." I was in the middle of doing a batch report so I waited. Mistake on my part for not getting my lazy ass up right away.

Streats and I went into the conference room. There were all the execs stuffing their faces and one cheesteak on the table. I looked at Streats. She looked at me. I said "Um, we both ordered steaks." My ex-boss was there (they asked him to come in to help). He looked around to everyone and everyone was looking around at each other. He tried to be a smartass and lifted his 3/4 eaten steak as a show of "here you can have mine". I know he thought he was being funny but timing is everything and that was not the time. One of the execs (a temp exec if there is such a thing) said "Well, someone said lunch is here and everyone came in and started grabbing." That was enough for me to hear. I smiled and said "Of course, how typical" and walkd out back to my desk.

Streats offered me half her steak. I refused. Why she she short herself because we work with a bunch of piglets.

The office manager came around feeling bad. She said there was half a steak left if I wanted it or the company would pay for a luch from the canteen in the adjoining building. I don't do pity well so again, I refused. She insisted. She took all the blame saying she probably shorted the order. Points to her for being honest. I told her I was very angry and that anything would just get me angrier. i know I'll regret not taking the canteen lunch but it just me feel second rated and that sucks.

The sad part is this happened last year. Same situation. Year end. Lunch. My order not there. Lovely morale booster.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dad update: Part Three

He is tentatively scheduled to come home on Friday. That's the good news.

The bad is his blood sugar has jacked over 250, his white blood cell count is through the roof, and he still won't listen to anyone.

And he gets to do this all over again on the other knee in 8 weeks. How nice. Just in time for the friggin holidays.

My Element is Wood

Your Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown

Your energy: generative

Your season: spring

Like a tree, you are always growing and changing.
And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded.
You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others.
You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

S'Mores - The Food Pyramid's Foundation

I am completely addicted to s'mores. They rank right up there with my addiction to McDonald's. Neither are any good for me and I don't care!

Nothing says happiness better than melted jet-puffs marshmallows, oozey chocolate, and crunchy graham crackers squished together.

Mmmmm, yummy!

Shoulda thrown a Scooby Snack maybe?

I am a law abiding wuss. Been that way all my life. So when I read about people like this strap, I just laugh.

Crime doesn't pay but stupid criminals are entertaining.

Drug Sniffing Dog Won't Take a Bribe

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Progress Report on Dad

The short story: Dad is progressing very well and may get out as soon as this coming Wednesday, 21 September. Mom is happy over that news.

The long story: My Dad is a daft pain in the buttocks.

The man had knee surgery this past Tuesday. He was told to stay off it until he was moved into the "therapy care unit". He did.

He was moved Thursday.

He was told he should always request assistance. He was told not to get out of bed until he was issued a walker. Even then, he was to contact a nurse for help. He was told he may sit up in a chair for brief periods at a time.

The man doesn't listen.

I called him yesterday (Friday).

me: Hey, Pop!

dad: Hey, how's the baby?

me: Fine. Baby's doing good. She wasn't so clinging this morning when I dropped her off at school.

dad: That's good. And how about you? How are you making out there in work?

me: Eh. Kinda hectic. T leaving really messed up a lot of getting work done for month and quarter end. And the auditors have been crawling everywhere.

It's at this point I know he's not paying attention 'cause I hear channels flipping in the background.

me: So how's it going there?

dad: Oh pretty good. I got up this morning and walked to the bathroom.


me: Um, Dad? Didn't they say stay off your leg until you got your walker?

dad: Yeah but I had to go and I pushed that stupid red button (nurse call button) and no one came. So I got up, leaned on various things, and did it myself.

Long pause because I have my head in my hand

me: Dad, they tell you these things for a reason. You could have injured yourself.

dad: Ehhh, what the hell do they know?

me: Oh brother. Did the nurses yell at you?

dad: (laughs) Yeah. I played dumb. (laughs again)

His physical therapist is amazed at his recovery speed for his age. My Dad may be old, but he is one tough man.

He once told my brother, who was a goalie for a soccer team, when he got kicked in the face one particular game that he looked okay and to finish the game. Dumb-dumb did. When they came home and my mom saw the bloodied mess that was my brother's lower half of his head, she rushed him to the hosipital. He needed forty stitches, he broke a tooth, and developed an infection. I thought my Mom was going to kill my Dad. My Dad looked at my Mom and was all "He's okay. Don't coddle him." But that was my Dad!

The man was bit by a brown recluse spider in Florida twenty years ago. His leg blew up. He was sick as a dog. He had the worst festering thing on his leg I had ever seen in my life (still to this day). The doctor told him by all rights, he should have lost his leg. But he didn't 'cause my Dad fought it. At least that's what I believe.

So now the tough old guy will be home a week ahead of schedule. Good thing. I don't think the escape plan in the cart would have worked too well.

Time out with the maternal half of the parent unit

Geo has a part-time job doing photography for some studio. He loves his photo stuff and if he can do it and earn some extra scratch, who am I to complain. This weekend, and next, is his training; ergo, I am all alone again. Well, me and the baby.

So I decided today we should hang with Nana. After the week my mum has had running back and forth between the hospital, home, and various other palces, she needed a getaway day. And we did what any woman who is stressed out should do.

We shopped!

We did the visit Dad thing first. Dad was thrilled to see the baby. And of course, the baby thought it was pretty neat to see Pop-Pop. She kept saying things like "Pop-Pop, I just love your room", "Pop-Pop, you have your own bed", "Pop-Pop, you have ice cream (that was on his lunch tray)", etc. She was a hoot. She took a ride down the hallway in his wheelchair using Nana power. She visited the nurses' station (and got a sticker). But all good things have to come to an end so we left.

Then it was off to the Willow Grove Park Mall. I love it there. It is built on the grounds of what used to be Willow Grove Park hence the mall's name (like you couldn't figure that one out yourself). John Philip Sousa, The March King, used to conduct his band there many moons ago. But enough with history, I'd rather talk commerce.

Ah, but no one can shop on an empty tummy. Off we went to the first stop - T.G.I.Friday's which is conveniently locate in the mall. Yum! We gorged and got dessert on top of it.

Now that we were stuffed like turkeys, it was time to shop.

We bought so much stuff. We went to the soon-to-be-defunct- Strawbridge's and went nuts. They were having a "Customer Appreciation" sale. When you used your charge card for your ppurchase of a sale item, you got an additional 20% off the price. Woo-hoo!!! And mum retired from the company years ago and retained her employee discount. Boom baby! It was a feeding frenzy at the rounders. And not a damn thing we bought was for ourselves. Mum bought a few things for Dad but the baby walked away with the lion's share. Figures the cute little kid gets it all.

The baby and I just got in the house an hour or so ago. I did all the driving so we dropped off my Mom, had some tea, and then drove on home. Mum had a fab time. She was so happy to go out and spend the day with us. I guess this makes up for all the times she and I argue.

Hee-hee-hee. Who am I kidding? Still, it was fun.

Escaping Alcatraz was a walk in the park

Please note: I actually drafted this on Thursday and never posted. Things have improved since then.

My dad is plotting his escape. He can't take it much more. The hospital is driving him nuts.

He's planning on hiding in the giant food cart that hauls aways the food trays. Then once it hits the kitchen, he'll unfold his walker from under the cart, and walk on out the front doors to freedom.

Oh no. An elderly gentleman in a hospital gown with a walker scooching down Route 1 in Philadelphia won't raise too much suspicion now will it.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Tired of the bullshit

I will say this once.

I don't like being made a fool. I don't appreciate someone crying boo-hoo-hoo for the sympathy vote only to find out later you created the shitty situation. If you screw up, owe up! Don't be a diaper shitting, thumb sucking, cowardly insect! Your cowardness will make others look like complete assholes when they run to defend you. Especially when you edit the situation as you relay it. You make it sound like everyone is down on you so you get people to feel bad for you. Then you sneak out never to return. No sooner are you gone then the truth rears its ugly and rather pissed-off head. When people find out the truth, that you are nothing more than a spineless selfish shit, the next time you go running to seek sympathy, you'll be told it's between shit and syphillis in the dictionary, you yellow pathetic gutless miserable excuse for human life!

And you know who you are, you little shit.

Thank you

For best results, use this side

I've already mentioned I order the supplies here at XYZ Corp. It's a friggin glam job with total perks, a car, and some sports tickets thrown in.

Okay, back to reality.

I order this stuff every week and the one thing we go through more than anything else is ... anyone ... PAPER! Honest, we go through 10 boxes of letter size a month. Considering most boxes hold 10 to 12 reams and there is normally 500 sheets per ream, that's a lot. Least we forget I work for a small cap publicly traded firm. I'll illustrate. If a corporation like Proctor and Gamble were, say, an African elephant, we would be the dirt under one of it's toenails. So, that much paper for a dirt corp is enormous.

In my job, I can go through two boxes a month. I am not exaggerating. My officemate co-worker can go through about one box. Our other counterpart in the Accounting Dept goes through half a box. So in Accounting alone, we use over 33%.

Recently, the company we normally order supplies from had a sale. We got 40 reams of paper for some ridiculously low price. And it's paper; hence, we need it. I figured "What the heck. It's a bargain." This paper actually has directions. WTH!? On the package, it states to use one particular side versus the other "for best results".

I print reports daily which go in a drawer which go in a filing cabinet at the end of the month which get put in a box after two years which go into a storage room for seven years which go through a shredder and burned.

I honestly don't give a damn which side yields the best results.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Harry Potter Wand Test

11", Ash, Phoenix
You scored 31 wisdom, 44 bravery, 21 emotional, and 16 martyrdom!
An ash wand signifies growth, balance, and protection. The phoenix tail feather as your core means that you have the capability to be an extremely powerful wizard or witch and that you will defend those you love at all costs.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 5% on wisdom

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 66% on bravery

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 50% on emotional

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 55% on martyrdom
Link: The Harry Potter Wand Test written by sputnik845 on Ok Cupid

I'm getting HP fever

I'm reading J.K.'s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. My personal goal is to have all books read before Goblet of Fire hits the theatres. So far, the outlook is rather dismal. I'm on page 200 of Phoenix.

I'm doomed.

On a brighter note, I'm buying a wand. Yes, I said "wand". I saw a rather nice one at Alivan's and told Geo about it. I told him it was a Redwood Wand with Essence of Cyclops Eyelash used for enchantment. I also told him I would have preferred the Yew Wand with Essence of Phoenix Feather as the core enchantment. Alas, that is on backorder. He was unimpressed. Geo could give a frog's fat water-tight backside about Harry Potter.

Me: The only downside I see is the baby. She'll comandeer it. And then use it on me.

Geo: Yeah. She'll look at you and say, "Go away." *POOF*

Seven Year Education Itch is upon me

It's almost fall.

I have this odd sense I want to go back to school.

Geo's sister, who is my age, is going to college at night. I am so jealous. I want to be back in school. {stomping my feet for effect}

I went to a state school straight out of high school. I won't get into any detail about my 18 month tenure there. We'll just leave it at I barely remember anything that happened.

Then I went to an art college. That didn't last too long either. I missed taking courses like English Lit, Psychology, basic math, etc. One year there and I was deciding making a career out of a hobby just didn't cut it for me.

My next stop was a HUGE school here in Philly. Unfortunately, it was during the year this school decided to have a strik from August until October. That didn't work out either.

I finally settled on a Philly school with a big name, small campus, and a kick-ass basketball team. Thank goodness, too. My Dad's only comment was, "I can't see out of the back of the car with all the goddam school stickers."

I loved going to St Joseph's University. I went there at night while working full-time during the day at a bank. I'd name the bank I worked at but it doesn't exist anymore (wow, there's a shock). Provided I kept above a C averege, the bank paid 100%. Can't beat that deal and I have the ending 3.50 GPA as proof. I worked and went to the University College for seven years. Straight through. Fall. Spring. Two Summer classes a year. I kept up that pace until I walked down to the stage to get my Finance degree.

And a year before I was ready to graduate, something awful happened. The bank was sold (it has been sold again since then). The new bank had no presence in the North of the US. Everyone thought "job security" with no duplicate branches anywhere. Wrong. This bank believed in running an efficient branch on half the staff. Uh - oh. That meant lay-offs. I had just bought a new home and had three little furrballs to feed (aka the cats - Whickers Bronte, Harlequin Davidson, and Snowball). But I was the top branch lender in Philly so there was no way I would lose my job. Oh how wrong I was. The evil mass of carbon I called my branch manager decided to "clean house" at her branch. There were eleven of us. She had nine of us on the lay-off list. And the remaining two? She fired within five days.

Now, I always try to find somthing positive in in the most vile creature ever to walk the Earth. Not this creature. She was evil incarnate. She epitomized all that is hated in the world. And she was damn proud of it.

But I digress.

Just as there is always a ray of light which breaks the night sky to entroduce a new day, so did that happen in my life. Where that troll thought she ruined my life by releasing me from the bank, she actually released me from mandatory employment. You see, a stipulation on educational reimbursement from most companies is that you must remain with that company for a minimum of one year from the date of reimbursement. All that money the bank had shelled out over the past six years for my college education? I was laid-off; ergo, I owed them nothing. Ha!

I graduated in 1998. Here I am seven years later. I have a different home, no cats (no pets), a little girl, Geo, for the most part a decent job (though it's too damn far), and I still feel the draw to go back to school. I have a Finance degree but I really want to get an Accounting degree. Yes, I LOVE math. Maybe I'll do the Phoenix on-line thing. Or maybe I'll wait until the baby gets a little older and go back to night school. Or maybe I'll just sit here at work and wonder if I should go back. I still have time to go back, right?

Yeah, I miss school.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Dad update

The short of it is the operation went successfully. The anaesthesia didn't really agree with him (not going to be graphic). Now he is on the road to recovery.

The long of it.

Mom and Dad got to Nazereth Hospital around 5:30ish in the morning yesterday to get through the admission phase. You have to love hospital admissions. You sign and initial so many papers it can only be rivaled by a mortgage. "Sign here, here, here, .... oh yeah, and here, here, initial there, sign here, and initial there, there, and there."

After that, they are off to the area where Dad has to be prepped, Mom gets to be bored, and others are around them just as prepped and bored. The anaesthesiologist came around to explain the local my Dad was going to receive. Yes, the man opted for a local instead of being knocked out. Then it was the wait game.

As per Mom, Dad went to his surgery on time at 6:30AM.

Then came the wait game again. Mom participated this time until a shade after 10:00AM.

She got to see Dad in the recovery area in all his post-op glory. He was groggy and ill and not all that lucid. There isn't much a person who is not under the influence of "E" ticket pain killers can do in a recovery room. No TV, no phones, no radios. It like a mini-Giligan's Island. I told her then was the time to convince him you needed a full wardrobe make-over and spa treatment. Subliminal messages can and do work. She regretfully missed her opportunity. So she opted to read the obligatory book she brought with her until the hospital decided it was time to get Dad to his next destination - the hospital room.

Here's where the information gets fuzzy. I thought Mom told me Dad had to be in the hospital for about a week. My fault for thinking. Dad is in this special "recovery" room for a week. Then he gets transferred to a regular hospital room for 10 to 14 days. Days!?!? Holy cats! There's a health insurance company that is allowing a stay longer than a week? Come to find out it's because my Dad has other health problems which puts him in a high risk category. Ergo, mandatory longer hospital stay.

Mom has never been alone for more than a week in her LIFE!

At least Dad can catch up on some reading. Or watch cable and convert his brain to a bowl of oatmeal from an overload of daytime TV.

In one of his more lucid moments, he told my Mom that when he was wheeled into the operating room, he heard the one of the team say Dad was to get a full knee replacement. Dad was still awake. Dad was not getting a full knee replacement. Dad got very verbal. They had to bring in the surgeon to assure my father that the operation is categorized as a knee replacement but he was not getting a full replacement. Glad to see there are big mouth doofus everywhere, even operating rooms.

The doc told my Dad that today would be his worst day. "You'll be in significant pain. It'll slowly ease throughout the week." Nice bedside manners, jackass. Nothing like telling somone "Oh, you'll be in ripping pain but don't worry, it'll get better as the days roll." No, he won't get better - he'll just be used to it.

The baby and I will probably visit tonight or tomorrow night. She has her get-well card all ready for her Pop-Pop.

I hate getting up in the morning ...

... and so does she.

This is the baby at 5:45AM.

I gently try to wake her up by saying "Sweetie ... dinker doodle ... time to wake up, baby!"

This is her response.

Yeah, I know. No one should wake up at time except for farmers with livestock. I assure you, any later, and we would take over two hours to get to King of Prussia.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I feel like Mom of the Year ...

... in comparison to this dope.

Granted, I may yell at my child when she is not paying attention and I may get angry with her but I would never DREAM of putting her in a cage.

Can you say "mommy treats us like dogs and cats in a kennel?"

Heck, who am I kidding? I've seen kennels that treat animals like royalty.

Eleven Children Found Caged in Ohio Home

Skull of Steel

The little one had quite the morning.

She danced with the Wiggles. She is too cute at the "stomp-stomp-stomp clap-clap-clap wiggle your hips - just like that" part. I fear she'll be swinging from the pole in the center of the stage when she hits 18. At least it'll pay for college.

From dancing, she decided it was time for pancakes and maple syrup. Ohhh-kay! She got three silver dollar pancakes, Vermont syrup, and her berry juice. Oh no, she's not a princess.

Then it was get ready for school. I dress her in her little short outfit and her socks and said, "Don't run around until I get your shoes on." Talking to the wall wouldhave made more impact 'cause not even a nanosecond later


I heard something that distinctly sounded like a hammer hitting a stud. She slipped and fell and her little head whacked right where the molding meets at the corner under our breakfast bar. And the sucker has a helluva point on it.

She was wailing something awful. I scooped her up and checked for blood. Nope. I placed her on the couch and told her I was going to get ice. I grabbed a cold pack out of the freezer and placed it gently on the medium size egg on her skull. I asked if she could hold it while I grabbed the Tylenol. She had her right hand holding the icy gel pack on her head, and her left hand clutched around Lambie's neck. She took her Tylenol shooter like a champ. After about two minutes, her crying had pretty much stopped.

I told her school what happened in case she complains about feeling sick or says her head really hurts.

Oh well. Time to buy a crash helmet.

My dad ...

... is having surgery today.

The man has no knees left. The cartilage had dissolved years ago and the bones were fusing together. He can barely walk. He normally goes up and down steps on his bum. But he kept saying "I'm fine, dammit. I don't need any operation." So typical of my pop.

What did him in was when he tried to walk the baby up the stairs to put her down for a nap one day. He couldn't. It broke his heart.

So, after much procrastination, he decided to see the surgeon and schedule the surgery.

They are doing one knee at a time. He wanted both at once but the doctor balked saying my dad's age, heart condition, and diabetes didn't make him a solid "2-in-1" candidate.

The baby is making him a get well card. If I know my dad, he'll say it was all worth it just so he can get a beautiful handmade card from his granddaughter.

Monday, September 12, 2005

The hell with Calgon! Gimme the USPS

This has been one of those days where I would love to slap a book of stamps on my forehead and ship my backside out of here.

Why I need a job closer to my home

I think the lunar calendar is off 'cause it should say full moon tonight.

Every a-hole with a license managed to be on the road at the same time I was this morning.

To the bee-otch in the Mercedes who cut me off, turn signals are STANDARD on cars. Even your trumped up piece of crap should have them.

To the knucklehead in the ION who was daydreaming at the world's fastest greenlight, thanks a lot.

To the woman in the Jaguar who was obviously bitching at someone on her cell phone on the PA Turnpike in front of me, don't worry sister. I'm sure a couple of more blow jobs should pay off your car.

To the VIP (Very Impatient Prick) in his car, nice off-road driving, shithead. I can't give the make or model of the car because the bastard was driving 60 MPH in the shoulder.

I didn't get upset or scream or waive the finger at anyone. I settled into the peaceful thought that Mercedes woman is selfish, ION person needs more coffee (or sleep), Jag child looks miserable and probably is miserable so that's revenge enough, and the VIP might have a nail in his/her tire which serves them right.

Thanks. I feel better.

Are ya ready for some football!?!?

The baby is!

Here she is wearing her TO jersey at school this morning. I know it will be trashed by the end of the day. Oh well.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

A lot of flippin' in the kitchen

For those of you with grandparents, and those of you with little ones and your parents are still kicking, today is Grandparent's Day. I honestly believe these holidays were created under lobbying by Hallmark and American Greetings.

And how lovely, it falls on Patriot's Day, the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks in the US.

So, after church, the baby and I went to Mom and Dad's for lunch. She gave them a card and a cheesy picture of herself we bought at a kiosk in the Oxford Valley Mall. Dad had football on the TV. He was watching two different games and flipping back and forth between them. Mom was making a fuss over the baby. I chose to join my dad and watch the game.

Me to my mom: "I just picked up a McNabb jersey for the baby, a 4T, for just $25 on Ebay."

Mom: "Doesn't her TO (Terrell Owens) shirt fit her from last year?"

Me: "Yeah, but it's a little tight. They should really hang loose so I got her McNabb."

Mom: "Oh."

Now Mom's getting stuff ready for lunch and Dad and I are still flipping between the two games.

Me: "I found out the reason I couldn't get the baby a TO jersey in black last year. It's 'cause they make the toddler shirts in Eagles green only."

Dad now gets up to help my Mom. This was because there were commercials on both channels so there was no point in flipping.

Mom: "Did you check to see if you could get it in white?"

Dad and I look at Mom with knitted eyebrows.

Dad: "Didn't you hear what she said?"

Mom (with some force behind her voice) "Yes, I did. She said they don't make them in black."

Dad (in the most sarcastic tone possible): "No, she said they only make them in green."

Mom now turns to look at me: "You said they didn't make them in black, right?"

Me (looking at mom and trying not to laugh at my dad making faces behind her back): "Yeah, they don't make the jerseys in black or white, Mom. Just the green."

Mom spins around quick enough to see my Dad trying to hide his mock laughter.

Dad: "So clean your ears out woman and pay a little more attention next time."

Mom looked at me and looked at him and promptly flipped my Dad the bird.

Thank goodness the baby was in the other room and didn't witness that.

I have a few words for this laptop

And they are not nice!

I was leaving return comments on the blog when the dumb mini-PC decided "Nah, I don't think I'll let you do that". Now the stupid thing won't let me leave comments on MY blog.


Stupid laptop.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Bye Bye old toys!

My church is having a Christmas bizarre around November. They have it every year. It's sort of cheesey but church bizarres are never "swinging hot spots". If they were, two things would have to occur: 1) there would be booze and music, and 2) it wouldn't be at a church. Since that defeats the definition of church bizarre, it must remain benign.

Upside, I am unloading all of the baby's toys that she has ignored for more than six months. That's about 75% of the lot.

Then I'll go after Geo's stuff that he hasn't touched in two years. Watch ... I'll get rid of it and the little turkey will ask me, "Hey babe, have you seen the {fill in the blank} anywhere?"

I'll lie of course.

I'm all alone

Well, the baby is here with me.

Geo is away this weekend doing his WWII thing. Hey, if it makes the man happy, fine by me.

However, I have watched The Wiggles "Hoop-Dee-Doo-Review" more times than should be legally allowed. Thankfully, she's getting out of her Dora stage so I was spared that torture. I've had to settle two "I want my daddy" tantrums with promises I know I can never keep (where the hell am I going to keep a Siberian white tiger?). Naptime allowed me to settle the checkbook and do a bit of laundry. She has been my shadow - my little mini-me.

The cool thing is I've gotten all the hugs, all the smooches, and all the attention from her. So the benefits are worth it.

A Top 100 Music List Meme

Oh, this meme is rather interesting. I got it from Tesco's site. He is so reluctant to do any meme I figured for him to do it, it must be worth the time.

Rules are go to this site, copy the Top 100 Hits from the year you graduated high school (or the year you would have graduated for those who did not). Cross out the ones you hate, bold the ones you like, and ignore the ones you never heard of in your life! Simple, right?

It's a voluntary meme so if ya want to do it, go ahead. Note here that I believe the songs are from an American list. For my bloggers buddies overseas, you might find the list more as a form of amusement (since I believe depending on location, your country might not have cared less about these songs).

Top 100 Songs of 1986

1. That's What Friends Are For, Dionne Warwick, Elton John, and Gladys Knight

2. Say You, Say Me, Lionel Richie
3. I Miss You, Klymaxx
4. On My Own , Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald
5. Broken Wings, Mr. Mister
6. How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
7. Party All The Time, Eddie Murphy
8. Burning Heart, Survivor
9. Kyrie, Mr. Mister
10. Addicted To Love, Robert Palmer
11. Greatest Love Of All, Whitney Houston
12. Secret Lovers, Atlantic Starr
13. Friends And Lovers, Carl Anderson and Gloria Loring

14. Glory Of Love, Peter Cetera

15. West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys
16. There'll Be Sad Songs, Billy Ocean
17. Alive And Kicking, Simple Minds
18. Never, Heart
19. Kiss, Prince and The Revolution
20. Higher Love, Steve Winwood
21. Stuck With You, Huey Lewis and The News
22. Holding Back The Years, Simply Red
23. Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel
24. Sara, Starship
25. Human, Human League
26. I Can't Wait, Nu Shooz
27. Take My Breath Away, Berlin
28. Rock Me Amadeus, Falco
29. Papa Don't Preach, Madonna
30. You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi
31. When The Going Gets Tough, Billy Ocean
32. When I Think Of You, Janet Jackson
33. These Dreams, Heart
34. Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone), Glass Tiger
35. Live To Tell, Madonna
36. Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle
37. Something About You, Level 42

38. Venus, Bananarama
39. Dancing On The Ceiling, Lionel Richie
40. Conga, Miami Sound Machine
41. True Colors, Cyndi Lauper
42. Danger Zone, Kenny Loggins
43. What Have You Done For Me Lately, Janet Jackson
44. No One Is To Blame, Howard Jones
45. Let's Go All The Way, Sly Fox
46. I Didn't Mean To Turn You On, Robert Palmer
47. Words Get In The Way, Miami Sound Machine

48. Manic Monday, Bangles
49. Walk Of Life, Dire Straits
50. Amanda, Boston
51. Two Of Hearts, Stacey Q
52. Crush On You, Jets
53. If You Leave, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
54. Invisible Touch, Genesis
55. The Sweetest Taboo, Sade

56. What You Need, INXS
57. Talk To Me, Stevie Nicks
58. Nasty, Janet Jackson
59. Take Me Home Tonight, Eddie Money
60. We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off, Jermaine Stewart
61. All Cried Out, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam With Full Force
62. Your Love, Outfield
63. I'm Your Man, Wham!

64. Perfect Way, Scritti Politti
65. Living In America, James Brown
66. R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A., John Cougar Mellencamp
67. Who's Johnny, El Debarge

68. Word Up, Cameo
69. Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
70. Silent Running, Mike and The Mechanics
71. Typical Male, Tina Turner
72. Small Town, John Cougar Mellencamp

73. Tarzan Boy, Baltimora
74. All I Need Is A Miracle, Mike and The Mechanics
75. Sweet Freedom, Michael McDonald
76. True Blue, Madonna
77. Rumors, Timex Social Club

78. Life In A Northern Town, Dream Academy
79. Bad Boy, Miami Sound Machine
80. Sleeping Bag, ZZ Top
81. Tonight She Comes, Cars
82. Love Touch, Rod Stewart

83. A Love Bizarre, Sheila E.
84. Throwing It All Away, Genesis
85. Baby Love, Regina
86. Election Day, Arcadia
87. Nikita, Elton John
88. Take Me Home, Phil Collins
89. Walk This Way, Run-D.M.C.
90. Sweet Love, Anita Baker

91. Your Wildest Dreams, Moody Blues
92. Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney
93. Object Of My Desire, Starpoint
94. Dreamtime, Daryl Hall
95. Tender Love, Force M.D.'s
96. King For A Day, Thompson Twins
97. Love Will Conquer All, Lionel Richie
98. A Different Corner, George Michael
99. I'll Be Over You, Toto
100. Go Home, Stevie Wonder

I really HATED pop music in the 80's.

Friday, September 09, 2005

You know you are from Philadelphia when ...

I want to create or find one that says "You know you are from NE Philadelphia when ... ". I'll probably request my cuz and ALa for assitance (if they have the time).

You Know You're From Philadelphia When...

You punctuate every sentence with, "You know" at least twice.

You want olive oil, not mayonnaise on your "hoagie".

You hate the Redskins

You hate Dallas.

You realize that your favorite dessert is "wooder ice".

You find yourself using "yo" and "youse guys" when talking long-distance to family members.

You know how to spell Schuylkill.

You pronounce ACME "ACK-A-ME".

You think that $2,500 every six months for insurance on a 1997 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.

You find youself at a nice restaurant thinking "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?"

You sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.

You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.

You can't eat french fries without Cheese Whiz.

You call sprinkles on top of your ice cream cone "jimmies".

You don't think Wawa sounds funny.

You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.

Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same block.

You know who Jim O'Brien is and how he died.

You can't imagine lunch without a Tastycake.

You're still not sure about Jerry Penacolli.

A vacation at the Jersey shore (pronounced "Down the shoore") is better than going to an island (there's more stuff to do, plus you know everybody.)

You know where to find the Rocky statue.

You know that only tourists go to Geno's, Pat's and Jim's for authentic cheese steaks.

You only go if you're drunk and it's 3:00 a.m.

You can make a cheese steak and you've never been taught

You've never been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there was on a class trip in third grade.

You know what and where "Boathouse Row" is

You will buy a pretzel from anyone, anywhere without even thinking of where it was - or where his hands have been.

You can't imagine a breakfast without scrapple.

You don't know what a sub is, but you think they are trying to describe an imitation HOAGIE.

You aren't a bandwagon Sixers fan?you loved them when they sucked, and before they had A.I.

You go to The Gallery or South Street in the summer time just to chill.

You have the pizza place on speed dial.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Philadelphia.