Monday, January 30, 2006

Oh, so this is why I never got a Good Citizen Award.

Thank you TJ for the test!

I am 63% Asshole/Bitch.
Sort of Assholy or Bitchy!
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Exxon Mobil posts the highest profits ever in US corporate history

When I read the headline below, all I could think was, "And these bastards said they had to raise gas prices or they'd lose too much money." So, "record breaking profits" is equal to "just barely breaking even" in the oil industry. Fuckers.

I'm sure all the assholes on the board of each major US oil company really gives a flying fuck if people can afford to heat their homes or commute to work without going bankrupt. They reaped the rewards while raping the country.

I strongly believe you reap what you sow. Lord have mercy on the souls of those board members 'cause they're gonna need it.

Exxon Mobil cashes in on high prices

Friday, January 27, 2006

Stupid CT Woman Sues City for Defamation

Everyone remember that selfish "don't hurt my expensive car" bitch who locked her infant in her sealed tight Audi and didn't want officials to break the windows because she didn't want her car damaged? Remember her?

Okay, this dumbass bitch, Guita Sazan Silverstein, told a 911 rep, on a recorded phone line, that her infant was locked in her car. She also told said rep she did not want her car damaged though dumbass's infant was slowly and painfully baking and dying. She said she was going home to get her keys despite what the 911 rep, fire officials and paramedics said. Officials basically said "Fuck you, bitch", broke the windows, and rescued the infant. The child was treated and released and bitchola was arrested for child endangerment. A charge, I feel, that was applicable in this case.

Now, this dumb whore is suing for defamation. Her attorney states she shouldn't have been arrested. What bar passed that dumb piece of shit? Awwww. Are her mean ole neighbors teasing her, calling her the dumbest status-symbol-loving parental-neglecting whore on Earth? Well, boo-hoo fucking hoo!

Woman Arrested for Leaving Child in Hot Car Sues City

UPDATE: Judging from my comments, I see we all agree this bitch is indeed a classless knob-slobbing whore. I only pray that one day when she is old and feeble, her child will walk into whatever room she is in, lock the door, have rope in hand, and say "Oh mom, I ran across a lovely newspaper article from July 2005. Shall I read it to you?"

Thursday, January 26, 2006

It's status quo in the world of Dink

If Dink had a clue to what a blog was, I'm sure she'd thank all of her bloguncles and blogaunts on her wellness prayers.

Unfortunately, her bronchitis is not better. I've been keeping her out of school this week. I was with her Wednesday and she was with my parents today and again tomorrow.

I'll keep y'all posted. Again, thank you for the positive thoughts and prayers.

Quick! Lick the handle! Final Chapter

We now have a brand new truck. Well, it's mostly new. It's a 2004 with less than 15K miles on it. That's new enough for us.

We are also the owners of one outrageous monthly car insurance payment. US$609.00! That was too damn high for me; so, the second we got home from the dealer, I went on-line to Progressive. They're always bragging how they can either give you or get you the best deal for insurance. Yeah, we'll see. Hell, I was willing to try anything. Geo wanted me to check out Geico. I figured if Progressive crapped out, then I'll try the little lizard.

I logged on to Progressive and typed our generic info (i.e, year make model accidents blah blah blah). After a few minutes of "you're information is processing", we got back a monthly payment of US$427.00 a month. Well that looked a little better. I told Geo and he said, "Make it happen." So, I proceeded to type in our personal info as well as the specific car and truck info. It asked if I wanted to approve everything via e-signature. Whatever. I just wanted to reduce our numbers. That's when the next screen blew my hopes right out of the water.

"We're sorry. The rate previously quoted has been adjusted in accordance with the information you have provided. Please note the new monthly premium."

Holy fuck!! It went from US$427 to US$616! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! I couldn't believe this was happening. I told Geo and he just shook his head. What could he say. I just clicked that little X in the upper right to get rid of that screen. Take it for granted, we did not sign with Progressive.

Would it shock you if I said Geo and I got no sleep that night? And it wasn't the good kind either. We tossed and turned all night because of the insurance. By nine in the morning, I couldn't take it.

It didn't help matters that a med tech was coming to the house in half an hour to take info from Geo for life insurance through his work (he purchased a double policy which needs a medical exam). And the guy showed up early. Aces.

The guy came and left in 30 minutes. Talk about no personality. This guy had zero. I wasn't sorry to see him leave.

On a whim, I got back on-line and tried Geico. I typed in the same info I typed for Progressive. No hope was building from me at this point. "Let's see how much they're gonna rook us?" I pushed the little [ENTER] button and almost fell out of my chair. US$271.20 a month? I instinctively looked at the back of my computer to make sure it was plugged in? Yep. Don't ask why I did that, I just did. I looked at the screen again. That was the number alright.

"Hey, hon?" I said, "could you give me the phone?"

"Why? What's up"

I showed Geo the screen. He stared at it like a hunter staring at a twelve pointer with a target on it's ass that said "Aim here". He was as dumfounded as I.

"I'm calling to make sure that's right."

He concurred. "Good idea."

I talked to the nicest rep. She was as sweet as can be for a Sunday morning. I gave her my VIN for the Saturn and Geo's truck VIN. I heard her keyboard clickity-click inthe background. Then I heard the infamous "Hmmmmm."

"It ... looks ... like ... the premium is going to be affected annnnnnd ... it's because of the car, not the truck."


"Really?", I thought

"Okaaaay. What are we looking at now?", I said in my most disheartened voice.

"Ohhh, it's not that bad. It only went up US$6.00 a month. Your monthly premium will be US$247.10."

I thought I was gonna cry. I kept saying stupid things like "Are you sure?" and "You do have that we live in Philly, right?" The Geico rep was affirmative in that our new monthly premium was going to be over $360.00 less a month than with Safe "Rip Off" Auto. I practically called her a goddess.

I did the quick math in my head. We had a debit for $488 and a debit for $247 but now a credit of $343 (I can't use $609 because I never had to factor that in our income and bill structure). Oooooo, the truck now cost was about an extra $388 a month. Then I remembered we have a $203 monthly payment we've been paying on the Saturn for the extended warranty. That payment term was one year. The year was up in February. That was another credit of $203 in the mix. Hence, our final additional cost per month for the truck plus a new and better insurance policy was going to be $185.

Boo-ya!!! High fives for the Maidink family!

Do you think we'll have this much good fortune when we go house hunting this Spring?

We shall see!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Quick! Lick the handle! Part Two

To recap, Geo bought a truck this past weekend. I should say "we" bought a truck, but Geo will be the primary driver. I mean, it's an '04 Chevy Silverado 2x4 Crew Cab. Ummm, too big for Maidink to handle.

So there we are, we went, we saw, we got approved! I thought Geo was gonna cry, he was so elated. The man has wanted a truck for so long, but fate has dealt such shitty cards to us lately, he felt doomed to drive his 1999 Fidgetmobile forever (or until the engine died). He's been dealt such crappy hands; he's sold many prized possessions just so we can make our monthly debts. We're talking his gun collection (an impressive one it was) and some of his WWII British SAS militaria. It broke his heart, but he did it for me and Dinks. After all he has done, it seemed his time for "payback" was finally coming.

He was so happy, I felt like shit breaking the bad news to him. It was the news I got when I hung up with our insurance company, Safe Auto. Ever hear of Safe Auto? These guys are equivalent to the "no credit, bad credit, no problem" types in this world. They insure anyone. If you have a pulse and a means of paying, you have insurance. Like I said, Geo and I had pretty shitty credit. I was denied a Fingerhut account for Christ's sake. So, the only insurance company willing to take on our car policy in Philly was Safe Auto. And you pay through the ass. Our Saturn with full coverage and the Fidget with bare-bones coverage was US$343 a month. Now, subtract a Fidget and add Gargantua truck, you are now up to, with complete full coverage, US$609.00 a month! I thought I was going to shit a brick when the rep told me that. And now I had to tell Geo.

He took it well. Sorta. He could see in my eye the "how the fuck are we gonna afford this" look. I saw it reflected in his, too.

But dammit all, that wasn't going to spoil our moment. We got a truck and my sweetheart was gonna be the Redneck Man of the Hour. Yeee-ha!

We walked through three showrooms to get to the "Cafe Corral" to wait for our final signing. Yes, threee (with three"e's) showrooms. Reedman-Toll is huge! I was gawking at Jags going for $69,000. Oh yeah, I'll take two. Geo saw a Subaru Outback for me that he liked. I wish he didn't point it out 'cause now I have the new car bug up my ass. And being in a showroom with all those cars wasn't helping!

Geo was so damn thrilled. He called his buddy, Vince, in MD to tell him the news. Vince is a Ford man, but we still like him anyway. And if you're reading this Vince, just kidding. I could hear him talking about truck liners and things for the truck. He was so happy. I kept drinking coffee, actually cappuccino, and mulling the figures in my head. We owned Fidget outright so we could sell it. If I filled up the tank, we could get US$50 for it. Oh, my head was hurting, but I never let on to Geo. He was on Cloud Number Nine.

We waited for over an hour. That seemed rather stupid to me. Here we were, about to sign on a six year max commitment with nothing really keeping us there. Normal people would have thought about this in their right mind and said, "A $609 payment on top of a truck payment? Oh we are so outta here!" As for us, our reality check hadn't completely bounced. The insurance just gave it a case of check kiting. And waiting was not helping the situation at all.

Then I realized we were in an Internet Cafe area. With computers. And access to the net. Sudoku!

Finally, our account manager showed up and we were lead into her office. Nuts, I had just started my game, too. Oh well. And crimeney, it was hot in her office. I'm normally cold all the time. I swear I need to sun on a rock to retain warmth through the day. But her office was Hades hot. Remember my head hurting earlier? Can you say tension headache manifesting into migraine? Sure, I knew you could.

She had Geo and I watch these videos on the importance of extended warranties, Gap insurance, life/disability insurance, and theft deterrents. I felt like I was in high school again. All that was missing was a lecture on the importance of not smoking or bathing regularly. Geo and I already knew we were picking up disability and an extended warranty. What a time waster that was.

Amy, that was her name, returned with our paperwork. We signed, we sealed, and within a half hour, we were off the parking lot - me in my Saturn and Geo in his truck.

And didn't it figure, his left brakelight was out.

Ah, but this is STILL not the end of the tale. Oh no, there is much more to this story.

Please stay tuned.

... to be cont'd

They Might Be Giants Does the US Senate

Folks, I love TMBG! They have some great tunes and they are all kid friendly. We're not talking sappy-make-you-ill Barney tunes, or super-kid-friendly and barely-tolerable-for-adults Wiggles tunes. I have been listening to their music pre-Dinker. Currently, they have a stint with the Disney Channel called "They Might Be Giants - Here Come the A, B, C's"

Why am I jabbering about this? Well, I read Overheard in Philly everyday and today they have a post that made me fall over laughing. If you picture it in your mind, it would remind you of a Jib Jab video.

We Interrupt Our Eavesdropping...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dinker, Geo, and other assorted beings

Dink is sick ... again!

She's had a nasty hacky cough since Saturday. You know the kind of cough, right? If you didn't know any better (and if she was about thirty years older), you'd swear she was a 2 1/2 pack a day Marlboro red smoker. I thought it was her asthma kicking in again. I checked for a fever yesterday and this morning. Nothing. So what happens? I get the phonecall from her school this afternoon that she has a fever of 101.5. Oh joy.

Went to the doc's and lo and be-friggin-hold, the child has bronchitis. Well bowl me over with a friggin feather.

The doc gave me a script for a round of antibiotics - amoxicillan to be exact. I know taking antibotics is not the normal way to fight bronchitis; however, when a person, such as the Dinks and myself,
already has diagnosed asthma and is prone to lung ailments, antibotics are common.

Looks like I'm not working again. My company is going to so hate me.


I called Geo from the car this afternoon to let him know about the Dinks. Our conversations are such poetry. We should be like the Brownings and publish. Yeah, right.

"Hey, babe."

"Hey, hooch!"

"Just so you know, I'm getting the Dinks from school. She's gotta a fever."

"Great. You make a doctor's appointment for her?"

"Eeee-yep. Look, I just pulled in the school's drive. Can I call you right back?"

"Well, I'm passing the firestation right about now."


"Dumbass, can I call you back after I get the child? Yes, no?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Call me back."

I love it when I get answers that have absolutley nothing to do with the question.


As you might guess, I was doing laundry last night. All was fine until I heard *clockle* *clockle* *bumpf* "Mooooommmmm-myyy!" Dinks walks up to me with a couple of pieces from her train set.

"Mommy, it bwoken."

note: it wasn't broken. the track kinda fell apart. It's a wooden set like Brio or Thomas the Tank.

"What happened, sweetie?"

Dinks mulls that one over in her head. "It bwoken."

"Okay, baby. Mommy fix it. How did it break?"

"Fix it maw-mee, pweeeeease?"

"I will honey, but what happened?"

"It bwoken."

"I got it honey, but how did it break?"

five second silence

"It bwoken. You fix it, Mommy, pweeease?"

"Not a prob. Mommy be right there."

"Thank you, Mommy."

I get a kiss on the cheek and she turns to walk away. I said in a slighty loud voice so she could hear me,"Dink, did you break it?'

With her back to me, she deadpans, "no."

Remember, she is an only child. I'm waiting for her to start blaming incidents around the house on those little ghosts Bill Keane made famous like "Not Me" and "Ida Know".


My car almost got sideswiped in the pharmacy parking lot tonight. What made it worse was I was there WITH the baby in the car. What made it even worser (I think that should be a word), there wasn't another frigging person in the lot! The lot was empty! It was me and dumbellina in her beat-up piece of shite.

Just knowing stupid ass people like that share the same supply of air as I do makes me want to lurch.

Quick! Lick the handle!

CAUTION: Long story being broken in two parts

Part One:

This weekend so kicked major ass! Geo got his truck and not just any truck. He got an '04 Chevy Silverado 2x4 Crew Cab. This thing is frelling mammoth. Needless to say, Maidink will never be behind the wheel. Noooooo thank you.

Now, how we got it is the fun part.

It started out on beautiful Saturday. The sun was shining, it was warm, Dinks was at the neighbor's house tearin' it up with their three kids, and Geo and our neighbor got the old washer out of the laundry room. I was to receive my new front-load high efficiency washer in 48 hours. Did I mention the baby was next door torturing my neighbor playing with her little friends? Things looked good.

Things looked so good, we decided to go for a "drive". Interpretted meant "let's go car shopping". Geo figured we'd go for a ride to Langhorne PA and check out the deals at Reedman-Toll.

It proved to be our destiny.

We drove, we parked, we walked. What would that be, drovi, parki, walki? Anyway, we checked out the newer used vehicles. We don't buy new and there is a damn good reason why. Philly is the home of insane car insurance rates. Seriously, getting quoted US$300 a month on a 1983 Buick LeSabre in shit condition is considered a bargain to some. No way can we get a new auto and afford the insurance. So, checking the used SUV's and trucks, we happen upon it. We looked at it, looked at each other, and I scattered to find a sales person.

Finding a sales person at a car dealer is like looking for sand at the beach. As the sales guy, Tony, and I were walking back to Geo, there was another couple looking at his (he staked it now) truck. I thought Geo was going to lick the truck door handle as a diversion tactic. Turns out he didn't need to. When the couple saw I had the upper hand with the sales person in tow, they left.

The sales guy talked to Geo for a bit about the truck. I ignored the most of it since it was "truck guy" talk; besdies, I really wasn't in the mood to listen. Finally, I heard the stuff that involved me - "Let's go over some numbers." Ding-ding!

Tony sat us down, took our info, offered coffee, and said "he'd be back in twenty minutes". Usually that means they take your info to the backoffice where the lenders lurk and they laugh hysterically for about fifteen minutes at your credit. The other five is used for the salesperson to gather their composure.

Ooooo, sidenote. They had the greatest coffee maker. It was like those one-cup makers but instead of using a cup of grounds, it was a little foil bag. Geo had breakfast blend and I had cappuccino. Yum!

Back to the waiting, we didn't have our hopes up. In our past lives, we both had declared bankruptcy. Him because of his shrew dumbass first ex-wife who used the bill money to go drinking with her friends. And me because of my late husband losing his job and income due to an noncovered disability. I, however, still retained a mortgage and have been slowly rebuilding my credit which hasn't been easy. I was almost declined an account at Columbia House two years ago. You know your credit score has hit rock bottom if a devil club won't take you. So the cards were so stacked against us to get this truck.

Tony came back after about twenty minutes. I didn't see any tears from laughing in his eyes which was a good sign. Geo looked at him as he sat down and said, "Well, what's the bad news?" Tony looked at me as if to say "What's wrong with him?" He looked at Geo and said "The bad news is do want to leave now or later with your new truck?" The look on Geo's face was priceless. He looked like his name was just called at the Oscars. I couldn't believe it either.

Geo was finally going to get his new truck!

I quickly jumped on the mobile to call our insurance company. I told them to drop the 1999 fidgetmobile and add the truck. I waited patiently for the new rate. "How bad could it be?" I thought. We were paying US$343 a month on the fidget and my Saturn. It's not like it was going to double. The hold music stopped and the agent was back.

That when the other shoe dropped.

... to be cont'd

Monday, January 23, 2006

What the heck??

Vacation day my backside! I hate taking days off from work. Not only do I feel like I accomplished nothing at home, I get to return to work the next day to a big ole steaming pile of crap.

Yip-yip-yippee fer me.

Yeah, I know I promised to blog about the weekend and I will, honest. I, unfortunately, couldn't do it from home. I tried and the Dinks needed this to work or the Dinks needed that thing from out of her reach. I eventually just said "Oh screw this" and shut off the laptop til now and, of course, I'm tired!

I don't know how stay-at-home moms do it. My house looks like a disaster zone more today than yesterday.

Frack this, I'm blogging form work. See you in the AM.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The weekend went where?

Is it Sunday already? Oh, wait, Sunday only has 30 minutes left. Nuts. This weekend absolutely flew by like a frelling F-22 Raptor.

I'm exhausted. I'm beat. I'm whipped. And not the good kind either.

I'll blog tomorrow. I have a vaca day. Taking the Dinks to the ophthalmologists and then waiting for (in sing-song over-the-top voice) my washer to be delivered!

Lots to tell ... lots to tell.

For now, good-night.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Come'on, Mr President, you can do it

I read this on Snopes and couldn't stop laughing. You have to love our President. At the very least, his is entertaining.

Muddle of the Road

What's on your iPod?

I got an iPod last year for Christmas. Well, it was actually a Christmas gift from me to me. I knew there was no way on God's good planet that anyone, including Geo, was going to shell out the cash for one. Geo thinks he bought me the iPod, or so I told him he did. Truth be it known, we have been living on a shoe string budget for some time and I knew he couldn't afford it. He wanted this thing for his WWII reenacting and I wanted the iPod. So, I told him to buy the whatever it was and he can get me the iPod. In his mind, that worked. In my mind, I knew we just forked out a beaucoup amount of money on two objects I knew we couldn't afford. But that chapter in our life is closed now. He still has his WWII thing, I think it was a Fallschirmjager helmet or a jump smock, and I still have my iPod.

It's a nifty little gadget. Of course, it was considered out-of-date a month after I got it because the ones in color were then put on the market. I put my entire CD collection (approx 100 CD's) on my laptop via iTunes and transferred it all. Plus, I've ripped and downloaded other CD's. This is a 20GB iPod. I have used 4.7GB to date. I fear I will never fill this thing.

The one feature I like is the ability to play music either by artist, album, playlist (which you create), songs, genre, or composer. I also like the shuffle feature, gives it variety.

Okay, why am I babbling about this iPod? Glad you asked.

I was checking the genres listed on it. It only lists a genre if that particular type of music has been uploaded. I have a bizarre and motley taste in music. I listed below my genres and the contents therein. Some of the lists are complete, some have doubles, and some are far from complete. The biggest genre is Rock. It's like the catchall category. "Well, it's not edgy and it's not filled with dubbing ... we'll just call it rock."

Alternative: Franz Ferdinand; Jason Mraz

Alternative & Punk: Barnaked Ladies; Coldplay; Linkin Park; REM; Rufus Wainwright

Classical: JS Bach; Beethoven; Chopin; Mozart; Tchaikovsky

Country: Alan Jackson; Alison Krauss; Garth Brooks; The Jahawks; Montgomery Gentry; Trick Pony

Folk: David Gray; Gordon Lightfoot; Rufus Wainwright

Gospel & Religious: dc Talk; Jars of Clay; Michael W Smith; Third Day

Hip Hop/Rap: 50 Cent; Eminem; The Game; Snoop Dogg; TI

Jazz: Billie Holiday; The Brian Setzer Orchestra; Harry Connick, Jr.

Latin: Daddy Yankee (I have to build this one up)

Metal: Black Sabbath; Metallica; Ozzy Osbourne; System of a Down

Pop: The Beatles; Dave Matthews; David Gray

R&B/Soul: Ciara; Destiny's Child

Rock: Audioslave; B-52's; Blackmore's Night; Elvis Presley; Grateful Dead; Jack Johnson; John Mayer; Johnny A; Led Zeppelin; REM; Richard Thompson; Rolling Stones; Squeeze; U2; Ziggy Marley

World: Ottmar Liebert

Remember, I still have 15GB. Imagine how much more rock I can put on here.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

A few things from my brain

As of 01/14/06, I have started commenting on comments. After reading a post on TJ's site, I realize the importance of feedback for those who have taken the time to visit. Thank you for the eye opener, TJ!


A few of my friends in the Blogiverse have been getting hate comments lately. And all are from the infamous Anonymous. I always say cowards like that just want a rise out of their idiocy. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. And if you feel so compelled to voice your negative, hateful opinion, be a grown-up and say who you are.


In the world of business:

Disney is in "talks" to purchase Pixar. You know Pixar - Toy Story 1 and 2, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles? This move would make Pixar's CEO, Steve Jobs (of Apple fame) one uber wealthy man. Personally, I'm not surprised that this is happening.

Wham-O is sold to a Hong Kong firm, Cornerstone Overseas Investment Ltd. The previous owners, the Charterhouse Group, said the move was done with the intention of helping Wham-O increase its market visibility on an international scope. COI Ltd runs about five factories in China with close to 25,000 workers. That's a lot of Frisbees ©, Slip-n-Slides ©, and Superballs ©. I don't care what the previous owners says about their intentions. Wham-O has been on the market for a while; so, the first decent oppourtunity finally came along they jumped on it like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat.


It seems like Pax has been right all along about cell phones. Not only are they annoying and rude, now they are deadly by way of exploding.


That's all for right now. I have to hit the post for some stamps. I have a slew of $.37 stamps which need their little friend, $.02 stamp, if they expect to go anywhere.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

How Maidink makes her monumental decisions

Ask the Eight Ball

Thanks for the ego boost, mom

Part of my daily morning routine is once I get my ass in work, I call my mom. This is so the woman doesn't think I lying in that famous ditch somewhere. We usually talk for a few minutes and they're always such uplifting conversations. They start the same way everytime.

"Hi, mom."

"Oh good, you're there."


"How was the traffic?"


"How's the little princess?"

"As usual, good as gold."

"Oh God bless her. She's such an angel."

I normally roll my eyes into the back of my skull at this point in the conversation. This morning, though, mom had an addendum.

"You're so lucky to have a good girl like her."

"Eee-yep. Judging from what I see other parents go through, we won the lottery."

"You sure did. I mean, Dinks is so good in the car on such long trips everyday. And she has the sweetest disposition and a loving personality. I still wonder where she got it from."

Now, mom is laughing hysterically at her own humor. As you can gather by now, I was not. I know she means no harm. If taking a dig at her youngest and only daughter brings her a sense of accomplishment for the day, oh well, so be it.

Best Blonde Joke Ever

My buddy, Charlie on the PA Turnpike, was good enough to post the best blonde joke ever. Enjoy!

Monday, January 16, 2006

A funny thing happened at the office ...

Merci, in her most recent comment, reminded me of two humorous stories that starred none other than the Dinks.

The first takes place in the ophthalmologist's waiting room. It was early and both Dink and I are tired. She is still getting over her virus and I'm ... well, I'm just plain frelling tired.

In this room, other than us, are three infants and one toddler, all of whom just had outpatient surgery the preceding day. The infants were all tuckered in their carry baskets and the toddler was pretty apprehensive about being there (she screamed the second she walked in the suite). Keep in mind, the mommy of said toddler was preggers and looked like she was about to drop any second. So, I am pointing out all the little ones to the Dinks because she loves babies. She doesn't like playing with baby dolls, but loves the real deal.

Out of nowhere, Dink starts crying and says rather loudly, "I want a baby!" Now all eyes are on me. Shit. I asked her, "Do you mean a baby brother or sister?" With sobby tears she chokes out, "Yes, I want a brotha or sistah." Perfect. The first parent, mom with infant and husband is at work, looked at me and siad, "My toddler said the same thing to me last year. Here's the result," she said while pointing to the carrier. Great. The second set of parents with the toddler and pregger mom looked at me and said, "She complained she wanted a baby, too." With emphasis, mom points to her huge belly. Even better. The third set of parents with just one carrier were the obvious honeymooners. With ga-ga eyes, they looked at each other and said, "We want another one soon."

Ummm, people!!!! You are not helping me in presenting a good arguement to the child!

Last night, Dinks said it again but this time she didnt' cry. We save hysterics like that for the public. Geo and I were in the kitchen and she was in the living room putting a "puzzcle" together. Geo said to her, "You want a baby brother or sister, Dink?"


I said, "You know that means you'll have to share all your toys."

No reaction.

Geo chimes in, "You'll have to share daddy with the baby. Will you share daddy?"

Dinks shakes her head and said, "No." I asked her, "You won't share daddy with a baby?" She looks at us and shouts, "That's MY daddy!" She turns back to her puzzle as if that was the end of that conversation. I figured I'd try asking if she would share me though I feared the response. I calmly asked in sing-song voice, "Dink, would you share mommy with a baby?" Without moving from her puzzle and with no emphasis or inflection in her voice, she simply said, "Sure."

Geo was laughing so hard, he was completely no good. Thanks, guys!

Hasn't the Catholic Church learned that negative publicity is still publicity?

I read this rather interesting article on It talks of a current condom campaign of Planned Parenthood in Connecticut and the Catholic Church is a bit PO'ed over the whole thing.

It seems the campaign is using key fobs to get the message out on the use of condoms. We all know that condoms are a great method of both birth control and prevention of STD's. We also know the hatred the Catholic Church has over anything that suggests either birth control or pre-marital sex. Now, it's not so much the message the key fobs are conveying, though it is a sore spot, but the graphic being used to convey it.

Go forth and multiply ... later
Yes, my friends, the graphic being used is none other than the beloved section of the Sistine Chapel depicting God's powerful hand touching Adam's seemingly lifeless hand. Ah, but God isn't touching Adam's hand - he is giving Adam a condom. Ee-yep, Adam and Eve - where mankind began according to the first book of the Holy Bible. I can see where the catholic Church can get a might bit tiffed at this one.

Now, this isn't the only key fob. There are bunches of others available and have been available for quite some time. It's just the recent uproar and public condemnation by the Church along with a few articles on this matter have PP of CT going crazy filling orders. So, if you want one, I suggest going there before this one goes on serious backorder or, worse, on the infamous "no longer available list". I doubt if the latter will happen, though.

Public denouncing of something always, always, always gets the general public's curiosity peaked. Who knows? This key fob thing can be latest fashion trend and I'm quite sure that wasn't the Church's intention.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

It's a random Sunday

Geo has the Dinks saying, "redrum". And she affects the gravelly voice and all. Lovely


Geo is on the morning shift this week. So it's the 4AM wake-up call for all in the Maidink household. By 4:30AM, he'll be on the road to Conshohocken to the steel mill. And I'll be on the road at 6:45AM to KofP. Anyone jealous of this life? I thought so.

Don't get too jealous. He was scheduled off for tomorrow for MLKJr Day. Alas, his company feels he needs the extra cash; hence, he works a 12 hour shift. Bad is he doesn't get the day off. Good is he gets paid beaucoup bucks. Woo-hoo!!


I gotta washer!! I gotta washer!! Oh ye-ah, oh ye-ah! Go Maidink! Go Maidink!!

(maidink with all the rythym of a bullelephant unsuccessfully attempts to dance and damn near throws out her back)

And I got the one I want!!

It's being delivered next Monday after the Dinks and I go to her ophthalmologist. I'm so excited! Weeeeee!


Comcast sucks


My daughter is a friggin math genius. At the Giant foodstore yesterday, she was holding a bag of chips. Geo asked her, "Dinky, if you have a bag of chips and mommy gave you a bag of chips, how many bags of chips would you have?" She smiled and said "I'd have MORE chips!!" Can't argue with that logic.


Wednesday and Thursday last week was like Springtime here in Philly. Friday was the foggiest day I have EVER seen in SE Pennsylvania. Mix in some t-storms and the weather was simply blah! Saturday was frellin cold and around 6PM, it started to snow. And the wind? Holy chowder! I thought the windows were going to blow in the house. Today, it looked like an ice skating rink outside all day.

Is Mother Nature PMSing?


We're still in the market for a pick-up or a large SUV. Not a mammoth one like the Chevy Suburban or the Ford Expedition. Something just underneath that level. It's for Geo. He's a guy and he likes is trucks. Nuff said.


We're still in the market for a new home. We still like Berks County, but we're also entertaining the Conshohocken area since both Geo and I work out that way. Besides, Philly is ticking me off something fierce. Now the gurus in city council want to reassess the property taxes to bring them "more in-line" with neighboring counties. Do the dumb schmucks at City Hall realize one of the few things that has kept people in this shitpit of a city is that the property taxes were low? Let's see, living in Philly guarantees a higher cost on car insurance than practically anywhere else in the state, a ridiculous amount of money chopped out of your wages regardless of where you work, a lameass transit system, and unplowed roads when it snows. Now they want to jackup the property taxes? Ha! Kiss my ass, I am so outta here!

You here that sound? That's the sound of hundreds of Philly residents pounding "For Sale" signs on their front lawn.


Dinks was a total "daddy girl" today. She didn't leave Geo alone for a nanosecond. I didn't mind at first because it gave me time to get stuff done without her under my feet wanting to "help". Around mid-afternoon I was getting irritated because not only was she following Geo everywhere, she was completely ignoring me. I asked her, "Dink, do you want Daddy to go to work?" In a panicky voice she said, "Noooooo!" When I asked if she wanted me to go to work, without hesitation she said, "Yeah!", and proceeded to get my coat and pocketbook.

Do you feel the love? It kinda hits you right here, don't it?

Friday, January 13, 2006

A Dinky post

First, I want to thank all my friends for praying on a speedy recovery for the Dinks. The little one is much better now. The poor thing was losing it from both ends (attic in the beginning and basement in the end). Her basement exploded only once. Thankfully, my mom and dad were watching her at the time of impact. Lucky lucky theeeeemmmmm! Although Dinks hasn't injested anything larger than a six curl helping of Cheese Doodles in the past three days, she's been drinking which is a good thing considering how much she lost in fluids. I think she also dropped about 4 pounds. And she is still sleeping a lot. Though not 100%, she's doing better so again I thank you.

What better way to celebrate my child feeling better than taking her to yet another doctor this morning. I'm surprised the health insurance through my work is completely insistent they be the primary while Geo's is secondary. They'll kick themselves in the ass over that monumentally stupid choice at a later date I'm sure. Idiots. Today's doctor visit of choice was the ophthamologist. Dinks has this itsy-bitsy problem with her left eye in the way of lack of tears. I've been bitchin about it for months to her pediatrician - that and her extremely flat as a friggin pancake feet. All they kept saying was "she'll outgrow her eye problem". Well, four bouts of pink eye later, one of the doctor's actually listened to my paranoid mom rantings and gave me the name of a pediatric-ophthalmic doctor. This guy was great. Funny as heck and Dink felt comfortable with him, except when he put drops in her eyes and shined a light in them. Then he was an ass according to her. The visit went well. We found out she very possibly has a clogged tear duct. We got a script for drops and scheduled a follow-up visit in ten days. If the drops don't work, she gets surgery. Let's root for the drops!

As always with anything that happens in this house, the doctor visit wasn't complete without vunderbar news. After her drops took effect, the doc did the shine a light in the eye thing. He looked at me and asked "Anyone in the family susceptible to migraines?" Oooo, oooo, me, me! That would be me! This was followed with, "Her eyes react to the light in the same mannerism as someone with migraines. Is she light sensitive?" I guess. I always thought she was hiding from me in the morning when she would pull the covers over her head after I turned on the overhead light. And here all the time I was blinding her while causing immense pain. Lovely. Now I have to watch for migraines in the future.

Eventually, Dinks made it back to school today under protest. The protestor wasn't Dinks but my parents. They seriously thought she was going to be at their home for the rest of the week. I'm sorry, but the kid's tuition was paid for the month; ergo, the child is goin'. Mom was all, "She looks a bit pale. I think she should stay home. But you ARE her mother so .... blah blah blah" I tuned her out near the end. She might have said something important or relevant - I'll never know. Now, this is the same woman who doted over me because I was born with a shitty immune system. The second I sniffled, I was home from school. I fear this mollycoddling has spilled over to my oh-so-too-much-like-me child.

I am not being ungrateful, mind you. I'm lucky my parents are willing to put their lives on hold to watch my child. But I think they get just a teensy-weensy bit zealous when it comes to the Dinks.

So, that be it fer now. I'm exhausted and I need sleep. Gotta get my rest for the big day tomorrow - buying the washing machine. Boo-ya!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

It's the "Five Weird Habit" Meme

My dear friend, RagsMags, decided to tag me with this. And I am one of her first tags! Of course she tagged me Sunday, 8 January, but we won't discuss my obvious tardiness. So, without any more delay than I have already given way to, here is ...

The Five Weird Habit Meme

The rules are pretty self-explanatory on this one: pick five weird habits you have. Now I didn't say irritating or annoying or gross ... the catch word is "weird". Picking ones nose in public without a care of who is watching is not weird, it's gross. Cracking your knuckles over and over at the movies is not weird, it's annoying. Refusing to buy your own newspaper and instead get your daily dose of media by reading over someone's shoulder on public transportation is not weird, it's irritating (and cheap). Got it? Okay, here we go.

1) I always blow into all glasses and mugs before pouring a beverage. I have a fear of dust floaters. I'll pour my coffee or Kool-Aid and there in the mug or glass will be itty-bitty dust fragments. That is grounds for immediate dumping. So, to avoid wasting any beverage, I blow in the beverage holder to remove the dust. Please note I do not do this with disposable cups. That would be silly.

2) When I had a stereo in my home (the last one burned in the housefire and I'm too lazy to replace it ... 4 years later), I used to turn it on and the TV at the same time. That doesn't sound so weird, does it? Yes, this is weird because after I'd turn on the stereo, I would walk over to the TV, turn it on, and mute it. Yep, I would have my stereo playing and a picture on my TV with no sound. I have no rationale for that one. I'm sure once I finally buy a new stereo, I'll still do this weird-ass habit.

3) I eat the food on my plate in sections (i.e, all carrots then all potatoes then all meat etc.) I've actually been told that this is annoying but I've deemed it as weird. In most recent months, I have been conscientiously "rotating my plate". That's a term my friend, Faith, developed for me. It means to eat portions from each section of food on your plate so the meal doesn't get boring. So now, I rotate my plate (well, I try).

4) I don't like to wear brand new clothes. They look all nice and crisp and clean when you buy them and look in spiffier in the closet or dresser drawer; however, I know the second I wear them, the newness will be gone and they'll be like the rest of my other clothes. Now that does border on insanity. It falls under "having cake and eating it, too". New clothes will hang in my closet until either I'm called on it ("Honey, have you ever worn those pants I bought you for your birthday?") or they become too small/big. This goes for nice clothes only (jeans and t-shirts have no mercy spared on them). Prime example of this quirk is the pair of pants hanging in my closet at this moment. I bought them at the Gap two months ago. The tags still adorn the pockets. My mom thinks I'm nuts. She should know.

5) I am not sure if this is so much weird as it is odd. I wear my watch on my right wrist but I am right handed. People see it and presume I am left-handed. Maybe I do it just to throw people off. Or maybe I like it on my right wrist as opposed to my left. Or maybe it's pointless to rationalize this one and just deem it as weird.

This assignment was harder than I thought. Thinking of weird habits (things that I do all the time) was not an easy tack. Most of what I do is annoying.

Am I gonna tag someone? I don't know of anyone who I can torture with this one. I mean, there is Pax, Snicks, Laurie, CrankyProf, and Belinda. Oh wait, I guess I did just tag some people.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Word Verification can be so entertaining

I've had a few doozies in the Blogger's comment "word verification" section; BUT, this one, that Tomithey had to type today, is a beaut. It's not so much the word, but his explanation of it.

"And um, the verification word I have to type to post this is "Horqhate". I like it. Sounds like when you are trying to equate the slutty levels of two whores. "

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Out of the bad comes some happiness

I have the green light to get a front loading washer! This is the one I want. Ain't it a beaut?

This seriously made my day. Is that ill? Have I become that domesticated that the prospect of getting a new washing machine actually gives me a sense of joy?

Ummmm .... YEAH!

A decade of schooling and they still have no clue

No better; no worse.

That's the update I have for the Dinks.

The doctor visit was a complete waste of my time and Dink's time. I take my child, who is in pain and not in the most pleasant of moods, out of her warm spot on the floor into the elements. I'm sure she'll tuck the moment in her databank for later use down the road at a therapist visit. She is bitchy and hates the world. Kinda like her mommy 'cause I am running on empty. But I am not bitchy with her. As I walk from the car to the physicians' office, I have my pocketbook, her diaper bag/backpack, and her Dora plush backpack on my right shoulder. My pockets carry my travel coffee mug, her cuppie, and my mobile. And, I am singing to her a lullaby, the same one I've been singing to her she the day she was born, while she sleeps cradled in my arms. The tender moment lasts until we reach the elevators where, as if her radar kicked in, she awakens screaming that she wants to push the buttons. We push buttons, go to the second floor, and attempt to wait. She wants to lay down. She wants to sit. She wants the TV on. She wants it off. She wants to watch Caillou. I want Caillou banished (never liked the whining little creep). We're called in the exam room and after a twenty-five minute exam, I'm still none the wiser about what is wrong with my child. And I'm out a co-pay.

Now the child isn't potty trained yet, and they want a urine sample. I'm thinking, "What? I have to wring out a Huggies into a little glass?" No, not that gross. But my child is wearing an adhesive specimen bag. No need to explain what it is and what it does ... the name says it all! Once it fills, I gotta dash to the docs'. Now the kid hasn't been able to keep much of anything in her tummy for 36 hours and her drinking has been limited to a sip here and there. The specimen collecting might take a little while.

She's asleep again on the floor. I think I'll curl up next to her and sing to her her lullaby. I don't know if it will make her feel better but it'll make me feel better.

Monday, January 09, 2006

What wishing can get ya

I do not believe in wishes. Seriously, I don't. Whenever I hear or think of the word "wish", I think of genies. More specifically, the djinn I think of is a malicious, hateful, manipulative trickster like the evil bastard in "Wishmaster". I don't even make a wish when I blow out birthday candles or toss a coin in a fountain. Instead, I send a prayer. I mean I seriously don't believe in wishing.

'cause it seems when I even remotely, ever so slightly, positively minutely make an itsy-bitsy wish, it comes true. But at a major cost.

At least I think that's why I have had a string of shitty luck this past twenty-four hours.

I was in Home Depot yesterday and was looking at front-loading washing machines. I stared at them dreamily like Homer Simpson gazing at a doughnut. I thought, "Oooooo, front-loading high efficiency washer." They looked smaller than the ones that first came out a few years ago which got me thinking I could conceivably get one for my tiny-ass washroom. Boy oh boy, did I want one.

Somewhere during the day I remembered about forgetting to make a deposit in our one bank account. There was a whole $4 in it and we had two direct debits about to hit. One measly little pittance of a bank balance less two rather large debits equal a big, friggin headache for me. And it was Sunday to boot! Ooops. Not good. I needed to get to the bank at some point in time on Monday; however, my bank is located near me home and that is nowhere near me work. Not good.

And least we forget I was dreading going to work on Monday. Why? Don't know. I just had that, "Oh man, we had two Mondays in a row off. I WANT A THIRD!"

Did you see the word "wish" in any of the above (besides the first two paragraphs)? Me neither.

So here I am. It's Monday night. I spent the whole day at home because my child is sick. It started last night at 10:40PM with her getting sick in her crib. Quick as a flash, and with a bit more coordination than the Keystone cops, Geo got her cleaned up and I laundered her bedsheets and clothes. The remainder of the night was spent in the living room with the DVD player spinning "Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas" and "Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas". Geo and I kept guard as the Dinks got sick every hour on the hour. It wasn't until about 2:00AM when she finally drifted into sleep. She was asleep in her Dora chair until 4AM when she migrated to the floor where I made up my makeshift bed. And for the rest of the day, there she remained, drifting in and out of sleepiness.

Geo had the night shift this week at the steel mill. Oh wait, I didn't tell you he no longer drives a truck. We'll just have to wait for a future post for that turn of good events in our home. So there we are, Geo has night shift so he was able to watch the baby for an hour as I got to the bank.

The Dinks is no better. She slept from 2PM this afternoon until 6. That's when she woke up crying. Uh oh. I dashed but I was too late. It was all over my pillow and blanket. Perfect. I was mad and frustrated and she was scared to death because she was still sick. Without completely flipping out, I stripped her down and threw the pillow and heavy blanket into the washer. As the water filled, the pillow kept puffing and floating and the blanket didn't budge. Therefore, I pushed down on the pillow to keep it in the water but it kept popping up. Push down. Pop up. Push down. Pop up. Down. Up. Down. Up. I gave up and slammed the lid. But it didn't do anything. Oh crap. I think I pushed down too hard. I actually broke the damn thing. Perfect. I went in the room where Dinks was wrapped in a blanket staring into space. What a site. I gave her another bath at her request and helped her brush her teeth. Got some new jim-jams on her and sat her down in her Dora chair. She got sick three more times. She is not keeping anything, not even water, in her stomach. Needless to say, her doctor appointment is at 9.

See where wishing can get ya?

Ummm, that's not what I meant

Okay, maybe I ought to clarify something.

I guess I used dooced in the wrong context in my one post. What I meant is I didn't want to get busted in work doing something other than my job. Yes, I am a slacker but for criminey sake, I don't want to get caught! I never write anything specific about my workplace. Well, I did about my former boss, the asshole; however, I doubt that post would count because NO ONE in my company likes him. Stabbing multiple people in the back while simutanelously screwing up a small-cap company's mandatory SEC filing tends to leave realtions a bit sour. Besides, most of the people here are terribly dense. They wouldn't catch on I was blogging about them even if they read my blog and I used their actual names. So there we are, I'm not job specific ... just a general slacker not wanting to get busted.

I'm still gonna post. For heaven's sake, I'm not that goody-goody ... never have been. But I am not a daredevil either. My blogging in work is as close as I will get to living on the edge. I'll keep blogging until I get the infamous, "Maidink, can you step into the office for a moment. We would like to have a word with you." It's kinda like the same feeling one would get going to the Dean's Office in school. Not like that ever happened to me ... too much of a wuss.

So you get the point. I'll blog ... but with caution. I haff to be vehwee vehwee quiet abwout it.

Shhhhhhh ...

Friday, January 06, 2006

What Does Your Birthdate Mean?

I lifted this quiz from MJ's site. Who's MJ? Don't know, but I like the way he thinks. I visited his site via Tesco. Now Tesco I know.

Your Birthdate: July 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

Take the good with the bad

Good thing: Your child learns to walk
Bad thing: Now you have to chase a being that goes faster than crawling speed

Good thing: You've decided to start a healthy eating regime and exercise
Bad thing: McDonald's and those tasty fries your lazy ass can get through drive-thru

Good thing: Your company bought a nifty new server which is now located in the building where you work and not some remote location in Cheeseland and makes your computer downtime go "bye-bye".
Bad thing: To blog now may also mean to be dooced*.


Blogging at work may be stopped. Having the server in NoMansLand meant I could blog because no one there ever ran a user report. Not so for the corporate office! And my boss will probably do the report generating. That figures. But I'll still blog. Hell, it's 5AM and I'm blogging. But I don't think I'll be able to post in work anymore. Stupid rules about doing company work on company equipment. I'll remind certain execs of that the next time I see them place an order on-line for that all important golfclub set.

* - who hasn't heard of Dooce?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

If women are afraid of mice, what are men afraid of? I know!

I've said it before and I'll never stop saying it: My parents are an endless source of blogging fodder.

This incident actually happened a week or so before Christmas; however, at the time, I was just so friggin busy in work, I had zero time to relay it to you. But now the downtime is upon us and I can blog for a few minutes.

I mention that it happened in the not so distant past because one or two aspects of the tale won't match to current conditions. You'll get what I mean when you read it.

So there we are, I called my mom after I picked the baby up from school. The conversation started as benignly as always. How am I, how's the princess, did she have fun, is she ready for Santa, yadda yadda yadda. She asked me to call her when I get home so she knows I'm not lying in the preverbial ditch just outside of Bummshit Nowhere.

mom: You'll have to call the cell, honey. We won't be home.

me: Okay, just remember the cell phone works much better when you turn it on.

mom (said with dry sarcasm) : Ha-ha-ha. You're very funny.

me: I try to be.

Mom is now laughing in a low chuckle to herself. Elderly women laughing for no reason is not uncommon. But I wanted in on the joke.

me (with eyebrow-raised voice) : What's so funny?

mom: You just reminded me of something funny that I wanted to tell you.

me: Okay. .......... what?

mom: Oh. It happened to you father today. Did I tell you about it?

oh boy

me: No, but I can tell it ought to be good.

mom: Oh, it is. Your father went to his favorite store* today.

me: And he got lost.

mom: No. He was going to his favorite store and I remembered that we needed something. So I called him and he didn't answer.

me: He lost the cellphone?

In no way am I insinuating my dad always loses things. I was just being a smartass.

mom: No. Will you let me tell the story?! I called him again - no answer. Now I'm worried (big frigging shock there). I'm thinking "what if he got into an accident?" or "what if the car slid on some ice and he's in a ditch?" ... you know how I think. Well, I called again and he answered and sounded a little funny. I asked was there anything wrong. He (laughing) told me that he had the cellphone on (laughing again) silencer. You know - vibrator?

Hearing my mom say the word vibrator sounds so wrong.

me (trying to talk over her laughing): Okay, what was it?

mom: He had the phone (now she's really laughing) on the middle part of the car. And when it rang, (now she is laughing and trying to talk) he heard a funny noise. He told me, "I thought there was a rat in the car".

Now the woman is laughing non-stop. I was laughing, too, but not as bad. There had to be more. After a few seconds, she gathers herself.

mom: He saw the phone, picked it up, and put it in his pants pocket. Then I called back (another burst of laughter). He said he was jumping all around in the driver seat because when I called, it rang in his pocket but it only buzzed because it was on vibrate. (laughing really hard) He thought the rat (laughing again) crawled up his leg.

me: (now I'm laughing) Oh mom, that is priceless.

mom: He's telling me he's jumping *up* *and* *down* (you can actually hear her making dual hand motions of jumping as she is talking) in the driver seat on Frankford Avenue and all these people are staring at him. He says, "I was trying to get the rat off of me!" He's saying "Jesus Christ! How the hell did a damn rat get in here?"

Now mom is laughing so hard the conversation has to change or else she'll need to breathe in a paper bag.

This is the same man who, all of my life, whenever I did something outwardly stupid, would look at me, shake his head, and say, "You really are a donkey."

I love my dad.

* - Dad's favorite store is Food Basics. He loves that store! Give the man a place to shop for cheap and he's as happy as a pig in shit

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A Musical Meme which might (or might not) say a lot about you

I lifted this from Laurie's site, Stranded in Suburbia. She didn't *tag* me per se. It was a volunteer sort of thing.

Here are the rules to this meme:
Choose one of your favorite bands/artist and then answer all the questions using SONG TITLES from the BAND or ARTIST you chose. Sound simple? Right, thought so.

Band/Artist: Dave Matthews Band

1. Are you male or female? Dreamgirl

2. Describe yourself: American Baby

3. How do some people feel about you? You Never Know

4. How do you feel about yourself? So Much to Say

5. Describe current relationship with BF/GF: The Best of What's Around

6. Describe where you want to be: Bartender

7. Describe how you live: Everyday

8. Describe how you love: So Right

9. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Too Much

10. Share a few words of wisdom: Pay For What You Get

11. Now say goodbye: Say Goodbye


It's up to you if you want to participate. If you do want to partake, please comment by letting me know so I can checkout your post to see whatcha did.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

No Brahms for this child - she wants Eminem

Back to work and school today after one long weekend. I knew it would be a struggle to wake the Dinks this morning. Poor kid dragged ass into the living room with Lambie and Ratty and plopped down in her Dora chair. Her hair was all which-way and she was staring at the television ... which was off. No, this was not a hop out of bed morning. And the friggin weather wasn't helping. Stupid dreary rain. After some yogurt and OJ, she became more lucid and I was able to get her ready for school.

I plunked her in the carseat and took off for another fun-filled trip down the highway. Man oh man, did she look miserable. I kept looking in my mommy monitor mirror to see if she was still alive. She just sat there in her carseat all strapped in and sort of slumped, staring at the back of the passenger seat. She wasn't even looking out the window. Well, not like there was much to look at what with all the rain and dreariness. I felt so bad for her. Poor thing.

"Close your eyes, sweetpea. Take a snooze."

She'd close her eyes, giving me the false impression of mommy security. "Ah, the child is sleeping; hence, she'll be happier." Then I'd look in that mirror again and see her little eyes blinking in the darkness. Damn.

"You want some music?"

She gave a weak little nod in response. I never turn on the radio in the car without asking her permission. Yeah, I know I'm the driver, dammit, but she does rule the universe. I tune into 'XPN at first then figure she might want some classical. You know, soothing oboe and violin music. And that's exactly what was playing. I thought for sure she'd pass out. Ten minutes into listening to the sounds of whatever composer, I looked in the mirror and she was still awake and blinking. Double damn.

So I switched it to the hip-hop station. They were playing "Goodies" by Ciara. That was the ticket! With in seconds, my child was snoring. I jammed into work listening to the likes of Eminem and company, slightly turned up, and the baby didn't flinch once.

For the record, she has also been lullabied to sleep to the sweet sounds of System of a Down.

Sweet dreams, y'all.

Take the Stupid Test

I guess this score is a good thing??


For those looking for a great After Christmas bargain

I didn't think E-bay allowed live auctions. But I guess at this price, anything goes.

Two-Head Snake for Sale for $150,000

After reading the article, I question how the president of the aquarium believes one head is male and the other female. It's not like there's a bow or anything to distinguish the two.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Art Linkletter was right

Kids DO indeed say the darndest things.

My mom wanted Dinks to meet my Aunt Enid's one daughter-in-law, MaryHelen. Now, I have already warned you before this that my mom looks like Doris Day and was raised in the 40's and 50's. My mom is the epitome of grace and manners. How I came out of that mix is still one of mankind's modern mysteries. Anyhow, mom brings the Dinks over to MaryHelen.

Mom: "MaryHelen, I heard you wanted to meet the star of the family."

MH: "Why yes! I am very pleased to meet you, Dinker!"

MaryHelen puts her hand out for a handshake. On cue, Dinks lifts up her shirt and points to her chest.

Dinks: "I have nipples!"

Now, I was not there to witness this incident. I got all information secondhand from various sources. MaryHelen was laughing hysterically relaying the moment. Brian, her husband, my aunt's son, chuckled insanely. "Of all the people in the world, it had to happen to your mom." Indeed, it did. And my mom laughed at the whole thing but had to throw in, "I thought I was going to die."

Maybe next time I'll dress Dinks in a bodysuit to avoid such episodes. But then again, what fun would THAT be?

All is quiet on New Year's Day

I am a bad Philadelphian. I did not watch the Mummers. If you live and/or breathe within in the Philadelphia County limits, you are obliged to watch the Mummers strut their stuff at the New Year's parade. Hell, the televison wasn't even touched in my house until about an hour ago. I commited a sin in the eyes of all that deem the Mummers holy (most of whom reside in parts of Port Richmond, Fishtown, and South Philly). Christ, maybe I'll get kicked out of the city - ostracized for ignoring the tradition. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I'm not that lucky. "Hell, no! You can stay! We need your ever so important and obnoxiously overcharged city wage tax from your paycheck."

We did go out of the house to my Aunt E's 75th birthday party. Yikes! 75? I love my aunt and uncle. Truly I do. But the thought of hanging around a group of people that clearly recall the end of WWII was not what I wanted on the first day of the new year. Geo had the same dreary thought. "We'll go in, give the card, grab cake, and tell them we're on a tight schedule. Ten minutes tops." That would have been perfect except we had the Dinks. She walked in and everyone wanted to see her. Damn, we were trapped. Mom and dad were there, too, so, of course, they had to show her off to all who cared. And even those who didn't care got to meet the Dinks. We were stuck.

But then, something happened. We started having a good time. Perish the thought. We were actually the LAST ones to leave. Geo had so much fun talking to my aunt and uncles' sons and their families. No, they are not my cousins just as my Aunt E and my Uncle T are not my aunt and uncle. But tha's what I've called them all of my life so that's that. You understand. They're actually my godparents. Not that that means anything. I just wrote it for filler. Anywho, Geo and I had fun. And Dinks made a few new "uncles" and "aunts".

So ends my first day of the new year. I relaxed, was fed, met with people I haven't talked to in ages, and had a good time. Not a bad start.

It's just another New Year's Eve

It really was. My butt didn't crawl out of bed until 9:30. And I wasn't even hungover or anything expected like that.

We did the neighbor thing for New Years. Damn they had a lot of food. I mean A-L-O-T. There was pork, sauerkraut, gravy, grande nacho platter (yumm) with sour cream and salsa, peas, cappicola, some kinda of very fatty sausage, provolone chunks, cookies, pies, cakes, muffins, and the booze.

Everyone did their own thing. We all watched football and talked about whatever. The guys all laughed at their own jokes while we women rolled our eyes. The kids all ran around in one big ole gaggle. They were all dosed out on candy and cookies. Out of all of us, the kids dominated the loud factor.

Our neighbor's littlest ones, the twins, didn't get to sleep until 9ish. Their son, who is Dinks buddy, passed out around 10:00. Dinks? She rang in the New Year with everyone. Our family eventually trekked back home around 12:45. As soon as Dinks hit her pillow, she was gone. I didn't get to friggin sleep until 1:30AM. That is approximately 4 hours past my beddybye time.

And so ended our New Year's Eve celebrations.

At least I got to see the ball drop this year.

It is just me or did Dick sound really bad last night? I know he had a stroke and I wasn;t expecting him to be his spry teenage self; nevertheless, he looked like he really should have been resting somewhere.