Friday, March 31, 2006

Naomi Campbell's weapon of choice - the telephone

Okay, anyone who has glimpsed at the news knows that Naomi Campbell was recently brought up on assault charges for hitting her housekeeper in the head with a cell phone. The housekeeper went to Lenox Hill Hospital where she received four stitches. The hospital contacted the authorities. The rest is pure media frenzy.

Of course, Naomi's publicists went immediately into action, declaring the housekeeper was doing this in retaliation because she was recently fired by Miss Campbell. They are trying to play the housekeeper as a vengeful thieving schemer.

The scheming part? As per the publicists, the housekeeper's wound was self-inflicted.

A gash in the back of the woman's skull was self-inflicted. Can you say "highly doubtful"?

But, I mean, Naomi is the real victim here, right? She was being the rational one, and the other woman went postal.

Ummmm, Naomi's past says differently. Naomi, in the past, has admitted she has an itsy-bitsy problem controlling her anger. Really?

"Naomi's History of Violence

2005 Reportedly beat a young female assistant with a BlackBerry in Brazil.

August 2004 Maid Millicent Burton claimed Campbell hit her across the face during an argument in the Park Avenue apartment about packing a bag. Burton also ended up in Lenox Hill Hospital.

May Won a long-running British legal battle with a tabloid newspaper that was found to have invaded her privacy by running a story saying, correctly, that she had visited Narcotics Anonymous.

2003 Sued by a former assistant who said Campbell had thrown a phone at her during a 2001 tantrum.

2000 Pleaded guilty to an assault charge for hitting assistant Georgina Galanis with a telephone soon after arriving in Toronto to make a film in 1998." (source)

Notice a pattern? Naomi and Mr. Alex G. Bell's invention? The two just don't mix.

I have a piece of advice for her next housekeeper: stay away from all forms of telecommunication equipment.

And for the love of God, don't anyone buy that woman a Motorola Razr! That would be like giving an accomplished third degree black-belt a ninja star.

13 comments:

CrankyProf said...

_I_ think we ought to find out if she can slink down the catwalk with a phone jammed in her...anatomy.

But I have no patience for the diva-behavior. Avd I am evil-tempered.

Spikey1 said...

*hush*

Stace said...

She can afford a housekeeper? Pretty difficult for most has-been's...Serious anger issues.

Also just wanted to say its great that you reply to the comments it makes leaving one feel welcome.

PaxRomano said...

Next on FOX: "When Supermodels Attack!"

Maidink said...

CP ~ Is she still deserving of "diva" status? I honestly don't know any of those people. I just found it amusing that she always has a phone nearby when she attacks.

Spikey ~ No blog for you!

Stace ~ I guess guest appearances on things like VH-1 and Hollywood Squares are her current meal tickets. That and long-term contract endorsements.

I try to answer my comments. Sometimes I do let them get away. I'm glad it makes you feel welcome. I always felt it let's others know that you do read and give a rat's butt about what they say.

Pax ~ Oooo, that will be at least an hour long special.

Whinger said...

So here's the big question.

How much would she have to pay you to be her housekeeper or assistant?

If you agreed to do it, do you think she'd be annoyed that you wore a helmet to work?

Sangroncito said...

Maybe Naomi should hook up with that Australian actor (what's his name...the one who hit the desk clerk in a NY hotel with a phone).

Maidink said...

Whinger ~ I would think that a helmet and body armor would be standard issue. You still wouldn't pay me enough to be anything for a diva ... even a pet.

Sang ~ For starters, welcome home!!!!!

And that was Russell Crowe. Those two hooking up? I'd be afraid of the offspring. They'd probably catch the little waffer swinging this around chasing the nanny.

Maidink said...

I see that link didn't work. Let's try it again, shall we? This is what the little shaver will be swinging over their head at the nanny.

Kyahgirl said...

imagine what she could do with a real 'wired' phone. She'd swing the handset around til it got up speed, then let it go, to let it wrap around her victim's neck. what a nice 'lady'.

Maidink said...

She's be swinging that phone like a cowboy with a lasso -"YEEEE-HAAAA!"

Mr. Fabulous said...

Thank God she wasn't behaving like this back in the old days when we we had bag phones.

Ouch!

Maidink said...

LOL! I had one of those. She could've done some serious damage with that.