Monday, October 17, 2005

Please stop sending these stupid e-mails

I don't mind receiving e-mails at all. It let's me know that, at least electronically, I am alive. When I used to get e-mail, I would act like Steve Martin in the "The Jerk". You know the scene - when he sees his name in the phonebook? Of course, we are talking thirteen or so years ago when giving someone your "e-mail" address was considered geeky or obnoxious. Today, you are considered archaic if you don't have an e-mail address. E-mailing has been my number one way of keeping in touch with all of my friends.

But when my friends send me certain types of e-mails I consider crap, that borders on the brink of me politely replying that I never want to hear from them again. Those e-mails would be (in no particular order of annoyance level): chain e-mails, prayer e-mails, urban legend e-mails, and cutesy pukey e-mails. My spam folder should be programmed to destroy all these e-mails. They are irritating and choke my e-mailbox's capacity. I loathe, detest, despise, abhor, disdain,and spurn all of them.

I don't care about chain e-mails. Trust me, I'll take my chances in not receiving that phone call about the job I interviewed for five years ago with the company that will graciously offer me 1,000 stock shares at par value the day before their IPO hits $100.

Prayer e-mails? No offense, but stop using my ISP like a church. If God wants to talk to me that bad, I doubt if it would be via a "God loves you" e-mail. He'll just set a bush in my backyard on fire.

And enough with the e-mails about how Swiffer Wet Jet causes doggie and kittie degenerative liver disease. It doesn't!! For God's sake, you have access to the net! Look it up! Here, I'll help you - Snopes.

Happy bluebirds and dancing mice are so sweet and adrable. And the e-mails that bring me such cute animated hopping rodents can be over 2 or 3 MB. And some of my e-mailboxes have limited capacity; hence, those huge e-mails suck up too much space. So if I don't get an e-mail I might be looking for because someone thought I needed cheering up and sent me an e-mail loaded with bouncing friggin pumpkins, that someone is going to get a nasty reply!

Thank you. I'm feeling much better now.


PissedOffPencil said...

Ooooh, I couldn't agree with you more! I hate those e-mails, especially those with furry animals or sad "true" stories. Most of them have a "To" list thats longer than the mail itself.

I've written to each and every person who sent me that kind of garbage and asked them for their friends telephone numbers. When they asked why I replied that I already had their e-mail, which I didn't ask for, so I could just as well have their phone number too. Some of them actually understood my point, and those who didn't, have been placed on the "banned list".

PaxRomano said...


Do you know how many times I have sent people to SNOPES.COM because of those stupid "Bill Gates will give you a free trip to Disney if you sent this email to eight other people?"

And the chain stuff; and "Someone who loves you sent you this fuzzy little puppy with sad eyes, send it to EVERYONE on your email list and god will grant you three wishes..."

Oy, hey I feel better now also!

Tony said...


I get SO very tired of those "heartwarming" stories about the crippled little girl who was saved from a burning out of control semi with bad breaks by a Nun Wearing an "I support our troops" tee-shirt.

Stop sending this crap!

Piggy and Tazzy said...

And just as I was about to forward all my 'forward this to....' emails too.

Can't you make an exception just for cute wee me? I only have 16,000 of them in readiness.

Virginia Gal said...

I love busting those stupid emails about xyz product is going to kill you, or Bill Gates is going to give you something or beware of this happening to you at the mall. Than I send a note out back to everyone in that chain telling them that this email is stupid. Really people use your brains, I feel like saying.

Maidink said...

POP - I've stopped counting how many "long lost relatives" Geo and I have in some remote country that has a fortune but needs US$xxx,xxx.xx to verify everything.

Oh yeah, let me whip out my checkbook.

Pax - glad to help.

Tony - I have banned e-mail addresses for sending cutesy "God is still working" stories like that.

P and T - go ahead, fire when ready. just remember what they say about paybacks, my dear.

VG - I like the "send this to ten people and then hit F7 and check out the video which pops up on your screen ... IT'S AWESOME" People still send me those.

Merci said...

I love the way the spam in your inbox multiplies as friends and family forward your email adress (full name attached, of course) into spammerland.

Sangroncito said...

I agree with you....and my other pet peeve is my cell phone...I hate it!

Rowan said...

here here!

Maidink said...

Merci - Spam is evil. The mail nt the lunchmeat. That I like (mmmm, fried spam).

Sangro - Do you have a mobile in Salavador? My mobile is annoying but beneficial.

Rowan - There, there! J/K :)

Trudging said...