Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Yet another reason why I'll never go back

Everytime I go to this one place, I feel like I need to bathe in anti-bacterial gel the second I leave. I go begrudgingly, usually out of desperation. I avoid it like the plague. To steal a line, I'd rather go skinny dipping in a pool of piranha.

It's Kmart.

Not just any Kmart ... well, okay, that would go for almost all Kmarts. But there is one former KRESS establishment I loathe. Out of kindness, I won't name it's location. Well, that and possible slander charges (though I don't see how since everyone agrees the store is gross).

I went there today to pick up diapers for the baby's daycare. I had the plan in my mind. Run in, grab, pay, scram. Sounds easy enough to execute.

I didn't even get out of my car before the first part of the plan was foiled. I had the infamous "I'm gonna take five hundred years and stand next to your car door while picking my butt and contemplating the universe" person next to me. Good lord. Since I hadn't cut the engine, I revved it to see if they'd at least look. Nope. So I shut it off thinking "Maybe they thought I was leaving". They still stood there doing what I don't even want to know. I opened my door with my headlights on so it would "ding-ding-ding". That worked. Simplemind moved and I was able to make a dash for it in the rain.

I got in and looked for a cart. And what to my wandering eyes did appear but three nasty rusted lopsided carts. Joy. I grabbed the first one and my hand felt soemthing sticky. After recoiling in nauseating shock, I went for cart number two. The plastic strip across the bar was missing but at least it didn't stick to my hand. We had a winner.

I rolled (or hobbled as the case in these wheels) the cart to the baby section. I found the diapers after a few seconds of looking, tossed them in the cart, and hobbled back to the front.

I passed a Cinderella DVD display and grabbed one. Christmas and her birthday are coming soon and I haven't bought squat for either. With that in mind, I took squeaky hobble cart to the toy section.

Toys R Us and Kay Bee Toys have nothing to fear with this section. It was so sad it should have been on Prozac. The pickings were rather slim so I searched out the Nickelodeon section (all Kmarts have one). I grabbed a Blues Clue's Handy Dandy Notebook. It was cheap and cheesey but I knew the baby would love it. Good. One stocking stuffer in the cart.

En route to the checkout section, I threw in an eight pack of cheap-end Bounty paper towels (those are handy to have). Okay, I was set and ready to get the heck out of there.

I saw one of the giant red numbered cubes illuminated. Dashing to it, I saw it was the express checkout at the cigarette counter. Express! Yes! A quick escape. Some woman was standing there talking to the cashier. She said "Okay Madge (or whatever), I'll talk to ya later". Off the lady went and off went the red numbered cube's light. Damn. Madge closed her line.

I started to back up the cart and saw this young lady looking at the junk candy - the kind that would send a three year old on a five day sugar high. She couldn't have been older than twenty-one. Now, I'm not one to make snap judgements on anyone without trying to either know them or talk to them. Ummm, not in this case. This girl was the walking definition of "skank". She looked like she was totally strung out on some controlled substance and had the grossest nastiest hickies on her neck. That sight alone will be the main cause of any nightmares I may experience tonight. Now I was determined to get the heck out of that store.

I headed to the next red cube when I heard, "Hey, 'scuse me."

I turned. It was nasty hickie-ladened skank girl. She had something that looked like a Whistle Pop in her hand and she was taking the cellophane off it. I'm sure it wasn't purchased. I looked at her and didn't utter a word.

"Hey, are you gonna pay fer your stuff wit cash?"

Without hesitation in my voice, I let out a deep growling "No".

She backed away saying "'kay" and I pushed my hobbly cart to the cashier. I was pleasant to the cashier, which I normally am. I almost mentioned scary skank but when I looked for it, she had disappeared. I paid for my purchases, thanked the young lady, and made way to my car.

Good. Rain had stopped momentarily.

I got to my car and gave a paranoid look around at my surroundings. I didn't see the scary one anywhere.

With great speed, I threw everything thing in the car and quickly vacated the premises.

That will probably be the last time I ever set foot in that store again. Unless, of course, I have no other choice and desperation has set in. At which time, I'll just make sure I have a gallon of anti-bacterial gel on hand ... with a spray nozzle.


Chris Krakora said...

I perfer going to Target myself. Even though there's a K-Mart close to where I live, I think that the former is nicer.

Virginia Gal said...

concur with Chris, K-mart has really turned into a war zone, I remember it when it was much more popular and well-run.

Maidink said...

Chris - Target! The bulls-eye dog store! I do so love it there. It replaces the void I felt when my beloved Clover was closed.

VG - K-mart is vile. The only bright spot is knowing in another five years, it should be gone.

hazel said...

hey - i think that's the one where i bought my exercise bike the other day. if it's the one where they won't let you take your cart to the parking lot cause they're afraid you'll steal it.

look, it's close to my house, all right?

of course, if it's NOT that one, and it's the OTHER one, then i've never been there.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand K-mart either. I thought Maryland was the only bad place for them. Give me Target or Wal-mart.


CrankyProf said...

The K-mart out here is beyond skanky, and overpopulated with people in their best "my stretch pants have no choice/I must rescue my panties from the crack of my ass!" wear.

Maidink said...

Hazel - No, dear, it wasn't your Kmart. The parking lot there is too chaotic for me. Which surprises me that you go there considering your love of driving.

Shell - Kmart is foul in any corner of the country. I doubt if many tears will be shed once it disappears.

CP - Oh lord!!! Nice visual! Ewww. It's like trying not to think of a pink alligator.

Rowan said...

Thankfully, we haven't had Kmart round these parts for about 10 years now. I HATED the smell of the place, some kinda anticeptic/moth ball smell. Wasn't dirty tho', but the type of people who used to shop there certainly were for the most part! Our Kmarts were generally in the poorer section of town.

Anyway, the way you feel about Kmart is the way I feel about the Chicken McBuggets (McD's) round here. They are filthy! Screaming kids and overtired parents are about, and everything is sticky. I remember a time when these were taken care of, not the case I'd say for the last 10 years here anyway.

Maidink said...

Mmmmm, McDeath. One of my addictions. I love it there. A couple near our home are pretty well maintained. Those are the McBistros.