hallelujah and pass the shackles

It was Saturday. It was relatively gloomy. I had just come home from a coffee and breakfast sandwich run to the local Wawa. Who the hell am I kidding!? In bountiful Northeast Philly, all Wawas are local. Can't swing a dead cat without nailing one.

Sorry - I digress. Where was I? Oh yes.

Geo and I were enjoying our coffees. The baby stole Geo's breakfast sandwich. I did ask if he wanted me to get two for him. "Nah, babe. One will be fine." I knew he'd never get a chance to eat his sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel. Serves him right. I ate mine. It was my birthday and I had carte blanche to be selfish so HA! He at least had his coffee (it was too hot for the baby to enjoy).

What? I thought all two year olds drank coffee. Learn something new everyday.

We were contemplating what to do until we had to go to my rents home for my birthday feast. We figured the mall would be a good move. I wanted to exchange my ring for one size up and maybe get the new Harry Potter. He wanted to drool over the Canon Rebel digital SLRs again. The baby just wanted to run everywhere. So it was agreed. The mall was the best for all.

I heard the familiar *creak* *slirnk* **KLANG** which told me the mail had arrived. Thinking some long lost relative has not only discovered I am their only heir but it is also my brithday, I ran to the mailbox hoping to find a fat hallmark envelope with a strange address from somewhere like Peru.

Nuts. It was only bills. And an envelope from Geo's divorce lawyer. Oh goody. It was probably a revised bill for services rendered in June.

Lawyers will bill you for the darndest things. His lawyer charged him to read two e-mails and two letters from his soon to be ex-whore ex-wife. It figures she would not only e-mail but also snail mail her acknowledgement of receiving notice plus her letter of no-contest. What a tool bitch loser.

Lo and be-friggin-hold! What to my sight doth appear but a letter saying all was complete and the divorce was final with the word, in bold font, "Congratulations".

So now the long wait of the divorce is finally over. Now we can actually make plans to use those nifty titanium bands we just bought. Maybe a few months after we're married, I might get a diamond ring to go with my band.

Hey, first we had the baby and now we're getting married. Of course we're doing everything bassackwards. It wouldn't be us if we did it normal.