Thursday, July 14, 2005

it's such a tiny word

There are lots of small words in the modern dictionary (four in the previous sentence alone). Many of them carry no threatening meaning - in, on, of, at, by, a, my, to. They're mostly all prepositions with the small exception of an adjective and an indefinite article. And then there are the conjunctions - do they have a great function (yeah, now I have the song in my head). Make no bones about it, these are lethal. Tiny words - monster meanings.

AND - This is the addition word. You think someone is done talking - then they use it. It builds up a thought stream to a friggin river. It's also used when being presented with a long list from hell - usually given by a parental or spousal figure. It annouces the one job one would rather not do and would actually much prefer being doused with fire ants than perform. Also, it must be said with emphasis.

"... take out the garbage, fold the laundry, mow the lawn, AND clean the cat box (usually for the cat with bladder control and aim problems)."

OR - a favorite word of lawyers and politicians. The basic use is this: give the worst possible options ever thought of by a person with minimal brain capacity and then introduce your idea which will like gold next to a lump of dog shit.

"We could take the route of pleading not guilty and you could get up to 60 years minimum time in a maximum security prison OR you can plead no contest and possibly be paroled in five years. Take your time thinking about it. I'll be outside with the under-paid guards with really bad attitudes."

BUT - evil ... no other way to describe it. This is the one word that can bring you from 120 MPH to 0 like a brickwall. It's the set-up word. When it's used in conjunction with AND, it gives the house of cards effect when activated. You pin your aspirations and hopes on one defining moment in your life and this word can crush it like a tin can on John Belushi's forehead.

"You have excellent qualifications AND a really wonderful amount of experience AND you'd be an excellent fit for our company which is only 5 miles from your home BUT we gave the job to someone else yesterday. Thanks for stopping in - here's a can cozy with our logo for your troubles."

AND there you have it.

This was the origin of my anxiety attacks for the past couple of nights. I went on the job interview of a lifetime and got a fucking consolation prize instead.

4 comments:

justrose said...

can cozy aside, it sucks. but maybe it means there's something better out there and that it's not where you're supposed to be? sorry dude. hope the anxiety attacks are abating.

Maidink said...

Thanks, cuz. I'll get over it. *snurp* It just sucks.

As bladders would say, "Fortune has vomited on my eiderdown yet once again."

PaxRomano said...

Yes, this sucks...but hey, it's their loss!

Hang in there; it will get better - and be good to yourself!

Maidink said...

Thanks Pax! I'll be like that kitten in the tree .. I'll hang in there, baby, 'cause Friday's comin'! :)