I had every intention of dressing my child as Elmo this Halloween.
We have this great costume we purchased last year. It's the ultra deluxe Elmo costume that's all furry and warm. We dropped a friggin bundle on the dumb thing.
Alas, we made the mistake many parents make. We bought an expensive costume for a child who walked the neighborhood for ten minutes Halloween night. That's it. I could have taped a Christmas ball to her head and said she was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Lord knows it would have been cheaper (already got the tape and decorations). The first scary costume she saw, she screamed bloody murder, begged me to hold her, and wouldn't let me put her back down on the ground.
Remembering all this, I have told everyone the baby will be Elmo again this year. Dammit, I'm getting my monies worth out of the furry little mop.
All of my "set in stone" decisions were pretty much blown out of the water this morning. This was our conversation while getting ready to leave.
Me: So you excited bout Halloween, sweetie?
Baby: Um, I got jackie.
Me: Yes, sweetie. You have your jackie 'cause it's gonna rain today.
Baby: I got jackie (inaudible sounds) it's yeww - woh
Me: Yes, it's a pretty yellow jackie.
(maidink now cussing at herself for forgetting her jacket)
Me: So are we going to be Elmo this year for Halloween?
(maidink's eyes grow huge with fear as she is dumb struck by the child's answer)
Me: But honey, you like Elmo, right?
Baby: No, I got Wiggles!
(child is now jumping up and down in some sort of interpretation dance shouting "wiggie, wiggie")
Me: So no Elmo?
Baby: I go to school.
She wears a "one" ring around her neck. I think I'll dress her as Bilbo or Frodo. She's short, she can pass.
Elmo, your fuzzy red backside is E-Bay bound.