Monday, September 12, 2005

Why I need a job closer to my home

I think the lunar calendar is off 'cause it should say full moon tonight.

Every a-hole with a license managed to be on the road at the same time I was this morning.

To the bee-otch in the Mercedes who cut me off, turn signals are STANDARD on cars. Even your trumped up piece of crap should have them.

To the knucklehead in the ION who was daydreaming at the world's fastest greenlight, thanks a lot.

To the woman in the Jaguar who was obviously bitching at someone on her cell phone on the PA Turnpike in front of me, don't worry sister. I'm sure a couple of more blow jobs should pay off your car.

To the VIP (Very Impatient Prick) in his car, nice off-road driving, shithead. I can't give the make or model of the car because the bastard was driving 60 MPH in the shoulder.

I didn't get upset or scream or waive the finger at anyone. I settled into the peaceful thought that Mercedes woman is selfish, ION person needs more coffee (or sleep), Jag child looks miserable and probably is miserable so that's revenge enough, and the VIP might have a nail in his/her tire which serves them right.

Thanks. I feel better.


PaxRomano said...

All cars should come with laser beams that are capable of blasting the morons off of the road!

I think I'll get busy inventing this option.

PissedOffPencil said...


Sorry, I didn't intend to laugh at your ordeals while driving to work but I just couldn't help myself.

Pretty strange that the Mercedes-owners seem to be alike all over the globe? Or could it be that turn signals are NOT standard equipment on Mercedes? :)

Maidink said...

Pax - Let me know Pax. I know a patent lawyer who hates other drivers, too. He might cut you a good rate.

POP - So Mercedes drivers are universal assholes. And I checked with the DaimlerChrysler web site. They are standard. If they weren't, I can see why people would opt out. Daimler would probably charge US$1,000 just to install. Now if you want them to work, that's extra. And if you want actual lightbulbs, get the checkbook ready.

Virginia Gal said...

oh I love Pax's idea - that would be awesome!!!
Sorry about the rough driving day - I had the same this morning, but you are much better than me, I screamed and cursed everyone of the nimroods whose driving should be outlawed. I say a little flipping bird now and than, good for the anger management :-)

Maidink said...

VG - I normally scream and cuss and throw a fit. But I have the little one. So I bite my toungue and just picture the idiots getting a flat in the middle of nowhere. Of course, I don't wish it on them. It just makes me feel better visualizng it.